As a rising senior at Rutgers University in New Jersey, I believe everything that’s happened during college, good and bad, has happened for a reason. God has never made a mistake. But that doesn’t mean you have to suffer from the same mistakes I made as a college freshman. There are many things I wish I’d known before entering college, and even more things I wish I had done differently once arriving.
1. I wish I had not been obsessed about my future.
It is sometimes frowned upon for students to enter college without knowing what they want to major in and/or do in the future.
When I started college I had a very good idea of what my academic path would look like. I would major in history, excel in my classes, and get into graduate school for education. By God’s grace all three have happened.
Yet I often wish I’d come into college with no clue about what I wanted to do with my life. I was so obsessed with making my plans a reality that I didn’t give myself the opportunity to explore other fields. I didn’t get to experience what it feels like to take an elective just for fun, and I wasn’t part of any clubs or organizations that first year. Even if I was highly interested in the topic or activity, if a class or club had nothing to do with my desire to get into graduate school, I saw very little value in it.
I’m not saying here that you should ignore all of your future career plans. If you have an idea of what you want to do for a career, focus on it and excel academically in your area. But if you’re even slightly interested in something, don’t hesitate to get more involved.
Who knows what you’ll learn in that Beyoncé course? (Yes, your school may offer a similar class.) Who knows who you’ll meet in the “Rock, Paper, Scissors” Club? (Yeah, something as random as that may exist on your campus too.) And those Christians with their weird art displays and games that they call a Proxe Station—they may have something to offer you that’s a lot more fulfilling than the free pizza they keep giving out. You should check them out as well.
2. I wish I had searched for what is true and not simply for what works.
During your freshman year you’ll see almost everyone—not just freshmen—searching for the type of college life that works best for them. This means you’ll find students living the extremely studious life, where they’re never at the dining hall without an open book in front of them and they’re always stressed. They would like to have more down time, but since their grades are good, they’re fine with this life.
You’ll also find students living the extremely social life, where they’re always talking about their latest adventure and can only be spotted in the library during finals—and even that’s not a given. Their life works for them because they’re having non-stop fun and (unlike the studious ones) have no problem getting their sleep.
Then there are those students who seem to have that ideal balance between the two. Having a life of fun, good grades, and sleep is almost too good to be true in college. But that was me. I partied. I drank. I smoked weed. I played countless hours of video games and pick-up basketball and spent many late nights chilling with my friends in the lounge. And I did all of this while excelling in my studies.
This is the kind of college life nearly all students want. They believe it has the best of both worlds. But the truth is that even though this balance can work, it doesn’t completely satisfy. I’ve learned that you cannot be fully satisfied with life unless you have a relationship with the God who gave you life. (See #3.)
3. I wish I had known that, before anything else, I am a child of God.
You’ve probably heard (and will continue to hear) that college is where you “find your identity.”
When I started college, joining a Christian fellowship was not even a thought in my mind. I was going to party hard and study harder. That all changed when I became a follower of Jesus in the spring of my sophomore year. I no longer found my identity in my gender, ethnicity, accomplishments, GPA, résumé, or anything else. I finally understood that my identity is in Christ. I am a child of the all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-loving God. And, as his child, I am beautifully, wonderfully, and fearfully made in his perfect image—and so are you.
Discovering my true identity has completely changed how I view my priorities in life. It means that I’m God’s disciple before I’m a student. I realized that my mission in college is not to perform well in school so I can find the right career. My mission in college is the same as my mission anywhere else in this world: to love God, love my neighbor, and make disciples of all nations.
This is not to say you shouldn’t take your studies seriously. We all know that it costs a lot of money to receive a higher education, so don’t let your money go to waste. Study and do not procrastinate! But honoring God with your time doesn’t mean getting everything on your to-do list done. It means making your relationship with God your first and most important priority.
If I could only change one thing about my college experience, it would be this: I often wish I would have become a Christian sooner. I know God’s timing is perfect, but I honestly feel that my life really began when I became a Christian and found my identity in Christ. I’m twenty-one years old but it feels as if life began just over a year ago. I wish I could have started living—not just existing—earlier.
What’s Most Important
College is a huge life change, and it will take some time to get the hang of things. It doesn’t matter how many AP classes you took and how many extracurricular activities you participated in during high school. But, in the midst of all the changes and all the chaos that will happen during your first year, know that you are loved and forgiven. Your identity and purpose are found in Christ.
Seek Jesus and a community of his followers. Christians are far from perfect, but please do not let that defer you from having a relationship with the God of perfection, grace, and love.
Jaryd is a senior at Rutgers University in New Jersey, where he's studying history and Latino studies.
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