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What can you do to serve fellow students as an influencer? The place to start is right where they are in their Christian life. Ask yourself some questions to help you determine their growing edges: How could they be more like Jesus and follow him more closely? How well do they know the basics of Christian beliefs and the disciplines of prayer and personal Bible study? Are they learning how to share Jesus with those around them in a way that fits their personality?

How about lifestyle issues? Are they struggling with sexual purity or substance abuse? Are they maturing in relationships with others?

Your answers to these kinds of questions will help you get ideas for areas to focus on in your time with your friends.

Deciding Direction Together
Assuming that your friend is open to an intentional, mutual growth relationship, you can decide together what you'd like to do, especially if it involves some kind of structure, such as study or reading.

Usually, younger students or newer Christians benefit from study and help in areas such as lifestyle issues, Bible study skills, prayer, and understanding Jesus and Christianity better. With older students or more mature ones, you can work on quite a variety of things, such as the theology of prayer, how to respond to tough questions, issues of self-esteem, Christian simplicity, vocational stewardship and so forth. Part of being a good friend is being open to doing anything that would be helpful!

Leaders who want to influence others should remember the three key areas of close relationship, challenge and modeling. Here are some ideas that will give you a feel for what an influencing relationship might look like:

To build relationships:

• Go to breakfast, lunch or dinner together. Tell each other about your day.
• Pray for each other together.
• Go to movies together. Visit each other's homes. Go grocery-shopping together. Study together. Take a road trip.
• Write encouraging notes to each other.
• Take risks with each other: share your stuff; listen well; be yourself.
• Take part in each other's interests and activities. Agree to try something that the other person likes to do, and try to be there for them at performances, presentations and parties.

To provide challenge:

• Read a book together.
• Study the Bible together.
• Apply the Scriptures together.
• Help each other discover and use your spiritual gifts.
• Co-lead your Bible study.
• Show how to invest in younger Christians.
• Again, pray for each other.
• Confront as necessary, but remember to encourage a lot.
• Affirm each other whenever you get the chance.
• Make use of resources within your fellowship such as large-group meetings, discipleship conferences, camps, ministry experiences, staff and older students.
• Make use of resources outside your fellowship such as pastors, church ministries, Christian counselors and recovery groups.

To be a good model:

• Make it a point to share personal struggles and concerns. Don't hesitate to ask for prayer.

Finally, make sure you're growing as a leader yourself. Be sure to put yourself into relationships of accountability and challenge for your own growth. The best way to be like Jesus in your relationships is to be close to him -- and to keep developing your own responsiveness to him.