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 I was the chapter president when the relationship between two sisters in our group began to crumble. Our chapter was large enough that each sister had a loyal set of friends to talk to about the difficulties they faced. Many of these friends were mutual, including me, and so we were trying hard to bring about reconciliation. 
As time went on, no real healing was taking place. Several of
us prayed often, both with them and for them. We all knew God
would heal this broken relationship eventually, but first the
sisters would have to learn to deal with their feelings openly
and honestly.
I was very excited when the younger sister, let's call her Beth,
told the large-group coordinator that she had learned a lot in
the past few weeks and wanted to share that with the rest of the
chapter. We eagerly awaited large-group night, expecting to hear
at least a small hint of reconciliation between her and her sister.
The usual practice is to go over what people are going to say
just to avoid anything off the wall. In this case, for some reason,
no one asked Beth beforehand what she planned to say. For five
or ten minutes she blasted her sister, going so far as to say
that she had screwed up her life. The other sister wasn't present
that night, but several of her friends were. The guest speakers
were embarrassed, as were the chapter leaders and staff who were
there. Many in the group were angry at what Beth said. Some were
angry at Beth, and some at her older sister. I was afraid the
chapter would split.
Later I met with the chapter leaders and a staff member. We all
agreed that I needed to meet with Beth, confront her with what
she had done, and ask her to apologize in front of the chapter
to her sister. As the president, I was concerned not only for
the sisters (though in this case it was my main concern), but
also for the damage done in the chapter.
After we prayed about the whole thing, I arranged to meet Beth
for dinner the next day. At dinner I asked her if she remembered
what she had said the previous night. She knew what she said,
and admitted she'd made a big mistake. In fact, she said, she
had never intended to talk about her sister at all.
After we talked more about what had happened, along with its effect
on the group, I asked her to apologize to the chapter the next
week. I reminded her that God would honor her and that she should
not be afraid of people losing their respect for her. I reassured
her that in doing this she would be gaining the respect and forgiveness
of the chapter.
The next week she offered a very moving, emotional testimony.
She left after she spoke, and she knew I was waiting for her outside
the room. To her astonishment, as we prayed together several other
members came out to hug her and be with her. Even though Beth's
relationship with her sister has taken a while to work itself
out, she learned that reconciliation begins with trusting God
and taking the courage to correct wrongs.
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