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Anyone who is actively involved in Christian ministry knows that it’s only a matter of time until God sends you Bob. Who is Bob? In the everyday world, a "Bob" is the "odd man out." Bob can come in the form of Bobbie depending on the gender (and please note that this is a slang term, not to be confused with people named Robert, Roberta or otherwise). In our fellowships, I’d like to describe Bob as 1) a person sent by God to challenge and test your leadership skills; 2) a member of the body of Christ who doesn’t fit in the way we expect; 3) a Christian who promptly brings you to your knees to pray, "How do we care for this one?" and 4) one of God’s special people.

I encountered my first Bob while leading a series of college prayer meetings. Though Bob was several years older than everyone else in the group, he attended faithfully every week. He always came a few minutes early and had a tendency to be one of the last to leave. Bob always offered lengthy prayers which included Scripture recited from memory detailing the chapter and verse. Bob’s prayers were basically the same each week. It seemed a bit odd that he never mentioned anything about his personal life. While the other members of the prayer group shared heartfelt needs and were growing closer to each other, Bob stayed on the fringe.

Within a few months, Bob seemed to become more of a burden than a blessing. He made unnecessary comments. His prayers never changed. He said annoying and inappropriate things. His jokes weren’t funny. He even had bad breath. Sadly, it was a relief when Bob missed a meeting. It became apparent that Bob didn’t fit into the culture of our prayer group except for one factor: he loved Jesus Christ. And that made him part of the body of Christ--whether we liked it or not.

At first, no one said a word. It was a simple case of Christian catch-22. If we were to say something, we feared it would be gossip. If we didn’t say anything, perhaps it would go away, but that was unlikely. As the weeks passed, I noticed the silence wasn’t making anything better, so I decided to discuss the issue individually with several members of the group. They responded with a gasp of relief. They were struggling with Bob and were relieved to know they weren’t alone. We all agreed that we could at least pray.

Our prayer didn’t change Bob; it changed us! Over the next few months, God began to speak to us and convict each of us through Bob. We slowly realized that Bob was actually a gift from God to help motivate and mature each of us.

The presence of Bob in our prayer meetings uncovered the sin within our hearts. We realized that we couldn’t criticize Bob with one thought and praise God with the next. Though Bob prayed a little differently than the rest of the group, it was wrong to judge his prayers even in the silent corners of our hearts. We also learned that Bob’s presence in prayer meetings was only a distraction if we let it become one. There was a simple choice to make: allow Bob to block our progress or bring Bob along for the journey. Fortunately, we chose the latter. I don’t think Bob ever knew the challenge he posed to the members of the prayer group nor did he know the blessing his presence provided.

Without even knowing it, Bob taught each of us a few lessons about becoming Christlike and a few things to do when we encounter the next Bob.

1. It’s not our responsibility to assess anyone’s worth or place in the body of Christ. In 1 Corinthians 12:20-25, Paul writes that there are many different body parts, or members, but only one body. "The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you’; or again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’" He goes on to explain that God has composed the body, "giving more abundant honor to that member which lacked, that there should be no division in the body."

   It was never our place to judge Bob or his value within our group. Even if he didn’t pray in the same ways or contribute in a tangible manner that met our expectations, we should have recognized him as part of the body of Christ and esteemed him higher than ourselves. We fell short of God’s commands by taking our eyes off of Christ and using them to assess Bob.

2. It’s very likely that Bob experienced previous rejection. Over time we learned that Bob had experienced a rough childhood. His family had moved repeatedly and left him little time to develop lasting relationships or social skills. Bob was hurting. Naturally, he was slow to open up to a group of strangers, and his prayers reflected his reservations. Behind a socially misunderstood Bob was a wounded soul longing to be loved and accepted by the body of Christ.

   We are all damaged creatures. Though we have read about the love and acceptance of Christ, few of us experience it fully within our daily lives. Some of us are more damaged than others. In dealing with any type of Bob, it’s essential to express unconditional love, overlook annoying habits and pray for that person regularly.

3. Ask God to give you Christlike eyes to see Bob and a Christlike heart to love Bob. It’s a very simple prayer that will likely change your perception. Too often, we assess people with our physical eyes and ears without allowing God to show us people as he sees them. The cold, reserved, sarcastic Bob that we tolerate is the hurting, precious child that Christ died to redeem and longs to heal. What role does God want you to play in Bob’s life? Are you willing to endure social discomfort in the name of Christ?

4. Hold each other accountable for gossip about Bob. Don’t allow negative comments or criticism to destroy a brother or sister in Christ. There are usually dozens of annoying things about Bob, and none of them are going to disappear overnight. Avoid a we/they position that fosters pride and only further ostracizes people. Though you may be accurate in assessing Bob’s inappropriate behavior, ask yourself what is more important--being right or being righteous?

5. Commit to including Bob in activities. Go out of your way to get to know Bob. Invite him to lunch or to another group meeting. Express verbally that you are glad he participated. Be patient. It takes a while for trust to grow and for people to come out of their shells. Some may never come out at all. Still, commit to loving Bob right where he is and continue to do so, even if he doesn’t change.

6. Recognize that Bob is a gift from God. At times, this may be difficult to accept. Look for ways in which God may be challenging you to grow and bring healing to other Christians. Seek his will through prayer.

By the end of the year, there was little noticeable change in Bob. The big changes came within each of us. God used Bob to expose our prideful and pharisaical hearts: righteous on the outside with perfect-length prayers and the right words to say, but unclean and judgmental on the inside, as we excluded Bob for not measuring up.

God was calling us to a deeper walk of humility, acceptance and unconditional love. He used Bob to teach us to love the unlovely with wholehearted abandon. Since then, I have met other Bobs in different forms and faces. They are everywhere, and they are wonderful. If you’re involved in leadership or other ministry in your fellowship or local church, you probably have a Bob in your life. If not, don’t worry. Sooner or later, God will provide one. The question is, how will you respond to this gift?