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I had just returned from a Global Project in Hong Kong and Taiwan, and was talking with Gary Gates, International Student Ministry staff at Berkeley. "So, now what?" he asked. Great question. We’d all returned to campus with a new sense of what it meant to follow Jesus. But how would that work out in daily life? Overseas with others from the States, I had observed God moving among Chinese people. The Hong Kong students that I connected with were genuinely concerned about their future in society, in business, and whether they could continue to speak freely about the life they shared in Christ. Within our own group, we observed each other’s gifts and brokenness. We developed friendships and extended forgiveness (often!). God was honored through our witness. Some of us heard the Lord calling us in new directions for our lives; others received affirmation for the directions they were already taking.

I returned to campus only to discover that several of my classmates were from Taiwan, Hong Kong and Iran. A couple of weeks later, I was introduced to Mr. Wong (not his real name), a professor in theoretical physics who was from China. Our introduction came through a friendship program in my church. I assisted Mr. Wong in learning English, so that he could discuss and write his papers for his colleagues at Berkeley. No small task! What initially appeared as a circumstantial, small orbit of relationships, however, turned out to be God’s way of helping me answer the question: "So, now what?"

Maybe you’ve recently come back from a Global Project (GP), an Urban Project (UP) or another short-term missions event. You’ve tried different kinds of food (yuck!), ridden on unusual forms of transportation, slept in different kinds of beds, struggled to make even the most simple of requests, and worshiped God among people who know the same Lord Jesus. Your summer has been a full one, and it will be unforgettable (both the highs and the lows). Perhaps you are still reflecting and discussing with others what Jesus did among you and those you were sent to visit.

Now that you’ve returned to campus, you may be wondering how you can continue following Jesus’ command, "Make disciples of all nations" (Matthew 28:19). Befriending an international student may become the answer to your questions and the beginning of a unique friendship.

We’ve all got expectations
International students come to campus with a variety of expectations, but at least two are significant for us to understand. First is the intention to receive a degree from an American university. Despite our internal complaints regarding the "quality" of education in the U.S. today, this much is clear: many people from outside of North America would rather get educated here than anywhere else.

The second expectation is to graduate having an American as a friend. Yes, even just one. Three out of four international students will enter and leave this country without ever entering an American home. Like you and me, international students desire companionship and friends to hang with. Like us, they desire authenticity, and they want to be welcomed on our campuses and in our homes.

Friendship first, please
While in Hong Kong and Taiwan, I sensed that casual conversations were often welcomed, whereas attempts to share the gospel were typically met with stone-cold silence. How could the Good News, being so good, be so coldly rejected? Within certain cultures, differences in age, gender and ethnicity can make or break our attempts to witness. In this culture, authenticity was the key to developing a relationship from which spiritual conversation would spring.

One useful icebreaker was basketball. Our Global Project basketball team was fair at best. All we had going for us in Taiwan was our height, and we got a few more boards than we deserved! When we first started playing in the pick-up games at one university, we played at the "first court," the court for players with the least amount of skills. We wiped the other team out. We kept our mouths shut, and didn’t try to trash talk or exalt ourselves in victory. A couple of days later we moved to the "second court." These guys were a lot better, but our height advantage still assisted us.

A few days later we were invited to the "third court." This one had nets on the rims! And these guys were good--very good. Their shortest player was six feet tall! Instead of having no competition for rebounds, two or three guys on their team would crash the boards against one of ours. We lost every time. After about a week of playing the third court, the students started asking us, "Why are you here?" Huffing and puffing, we would grunt that we were on a Global Project, and what that meant as followers of Jesus. Their response? "Okay. Ready to play again?" Playing hoops meant witness, and as we learned how to win and lose for Christ, we grew in authenticity before our Chinese hosts. They welcomed us for water breaks and we shared freely. They asked us about life in the States and about our families. We were accepted for who we were: a bunch of Americans who liked basketball more than we had the skills to play the game. But they were cautious about engaging us about Jesus. We never got beyond their questions. However, we would not have heard those questions unless we’d made ourselves available to them on their terms. Our budding relationships grew in ways that made sense to our Chinese hosts.

Getting started
After returning to campus and meeting my new acquaintance, Mr. Wong, I soon discovered that my ability to listen to broken and heavily accented English was low--very low. I could follow his research reports, which surprised me more than him. Yet, getting beyond his research was a struggle. We would converse about our families, and I would wonder many times if I understood him. After a few months, I prayed that Mr. Wong would want to attend an English as a Second Language (ESL) Bible study. Several events fell into place that led to his participation. First, his desire to speak and listen in English was growing. Mr. Wong wanted to communicate better while in the States. He was unsatisfied with sitting around or traveling together with visiting Chinese scholars. (They were simultaneously enjoying their freedom from family and work while longing for home, gravitating to others from their own country, culture and language. Soon, isolation from their American peers set in.)

Second, Mr. Wong was fully aware that I was a Christian. While it was through my church that we became connected, my intention was to serve him through conversation. He had brought this up with me the moment that I met him. After his initial observation that I went to church, he avoided talking about Jesus or my faith for a long time.

Finally, Mr. Wong and some of the other Chinese scholars realized that here they could read the Bible among people they could trust (including each other--very important!). This sense of confidence and integrity took about six months to develop. While I had been frustrated that we hadn’t moved on to discuss "spiritual matters," Mr. Wong had discovered that I could be trusted. I was learning that intimacy was necessary, even prior, to announcing the gospel. God was preparing my heart and Mr. Wong’s.

Mr. Wong was an active participant in the studies, but usually remained tight-lipped on the ride home. Occasionally, we would talk about Jesus. But for Mr. Wong, Jesus was a religious figure with a commendable way to live. Mr. Wong didn’t believe Jesus had actually lived, died or been raised from the dead. After discussing the parables for a few weeks in the ESL Bible study, he said to me, "This is an interesting philosophy!"

"Don’t you think this is more than a philosophy?" I replied. "These parables give us the opportunity to respond to the storyteller, Jesus." Mr. Wong was silent for awhile, and then said, "I’ll have to think about that."

Building a Friendship
Once you’ve returned from a Global or Urban Project, there’s plenty to think about. A friendship with an international student is a good starting point for responding to Jesus. Whether through hoops, soccer, dance, studying or just being together, you can begin to build credibility and trust with your international student peer.

Perhaps trying to form an intentional friendship seems stiff or rigid. I’ve had the same sensations. But, having lived with people who are different from you while on your project, you know what it’s like to feel isolated ethnically and linguistically. Did you feel lonely during the summer? International students know this feeling, too. Did you feel awkward or embarrassed? International students know this feeling, too. Don’t be afraid to initiate. Your new friend will be glad you did.

Grand opportunity
While hiking into the Grand Canyon with my family, our journey was punctuated with meeting people who were ascending or descending the trail. Because we were walking slowly, we would step to the side of the trail so others could pass us. We would greet our fellow travelers, and they would return our greeting. Once we reached our vista point, my wife turned to me and said, "Did you notice? We’re the only ones speaking English on the trail!" She was right! Africans, Europeans and Asians: they had all met us and were right next to us. But I was unaware of them. Our ascent to the rim and our stops for water breaks were full of people coming and going--a few Americans and plenty of internationals--people who shared the need for a cool cup of water. While intentionality can feel awkward, the awareness you gained from your project will serve you to befriend international students.

A close friendship with an international, a friendship with a depth that is rarely observed here in the States, will demonstrate the friendship we have with Jesus. Such friendships may not result in our friends coming to faith in Jesus. But we will have revealed more about what a follower of Jesus is like than if we had passed on the question, "So, now what?"

Mr. Wong and I continued to meet for conversation and, after a year, we could chat about his friendships in China, his research and the ESL Bible study. His English was improving, and my listening was too! Then, Mr. Wong departed for home. Just before he left, Mr. Wong’s son came to the U.S. for graduate studies, and he made a visit to see his father before heading off across the country. It was a wonderful time to meet him, and Mr. Wong was unashamedly open about the Bible study that we were in. His son did not seem surprised when Mr. Wong announced to all present, "No one has ever lived like Jesus did."