The Evangelist You Picture in Your Mind

What do you think when you hear the word evangelist? Whose face springs to mind? Maybe you see the face of a local hellfire preacher who comes to your campus. Maybe you see the face of Billy Graham. But whoever comes to mind, I bet you see a face that does not look like yours. Almost certainly, you see a face that is not Asian.

In general, and especially for Asian Americans, we don’t think of ourselves as evangelists. We think of evangelists as people who see dozens of conversions a year. Evangelists are those who ooze boldness and confidence, who have all the right answers, and who are theological experts. Evangelism, so we think, is for the pros. We may not be sure who the pros are, we just know that we’re not.

Recently I was encouraging Brian, a Chinese-American student, to think about leading a GIG (a Group Investigating God, for non-Christians).

“Me?” he asked. “You’re joking. I don’t know enough of the Bible to do something like that.” In my interactions on campus, I hear responses like that from Asian-American students all the time.

My senior year in college, my roommate Mailin and I were excited about loving our fellow dormmates. We tried all kinds of creative things to do that. We wanted our little dorm room to be the most fun and the most welcoming place in the whole dorm. We kept our mini-fridge stocked with ice cold sodas for whoever happened to drop by. We threw pizza parties in our room and invited everyone within shouting distance. We plastered one whole wall of the room with butcher paper so people could come draw and graffiti. We hosted Nerf basketball tournaments, practical joke wars and movie nights. Pretty soon, Mailin and I had what we wanted—our room was the place people came to hang, to laugh, to be.

Through this, I became good friends with a half dozen non-believers who lived on my floor. I quickly discovered that they were curious about spirituality. At different points, each one of them came to the small-group Bible study I was leading. To my amazement, some of them even came back a second and a third and a fourth time.

We talked about Jesus together. We also talked to Jesus together. “Praying is easy,” I told Sarah. “It’s like talking to a friend. Just imagine that Jesus is sitting right here listening to you.” I got to be with her when she prayed for the first time. It was the most sincere and beautiful prayer I had ever heard. I hoped and prayed for Sarah and the others to come into the kingdom of God. When I asked her if she wanted to follow Jesus, she said “I’m not ready yet. I need more time to think about everything.” That was okay though, because I was confident that she and most of the others would say yes by the end of the year—it was just a matter of time.

The end of the year came and went and none of them decided to follow Jesus. Most of them moved to other places on campus. I tried to keep up with a couple of them, but it was hard; they moved on and so did I. As far as I know, none of these friends in my group has since become believers.

How did I interpret the year? As failure. It didn’t work. Clearly evangelism isn’t for me. I’m no good at it, I thought. Deep inside, I believed God was grading me in evangelism and I had just gotten a big, fat F. I can’t do evangelism so I’ll focus on the things I can do. For the next two years, that’s what I believed so that’s what I lived. I certainly didn’t chase non-Christians away but I didn’t do much to go after them either. And I didn’t think God was interested in using me as an evangelist. I decided that must be for other people.

The God who grades?

Growing up, if I came home from school and told my mom that I had gotten a B, she would inevitably ask me, “Why didn’t you get an A?” If I got an A-, she would ask, “Why isn’t it an A+?” And if I got an A+, she would say, “Good, keep it up,” and go back to what she was doing. She did this because she was trying to love me and press me to do my best. But I slowly started to believe that my efforts were always not quite good enough. I unknowingly transferred my view of my mom’s expectations to my perception of God’s expectations too. I believed he was grading me and doing it harshly. I wonder how many other Asian Americans also feel as I did. With that picture of God in the back of our heads, it’s no wonder that many of us don’t like evangelism. Nobody aces evangelism right away—even Billy Graham didn’t become Billy Graham overnight.

I was really discouraged for the next two years until God handed me an opportunity on a silver platter. Kelly was a non-Christian who was seeking Jesus. Another friend had invited her to join a manuscript study I was leading through the book of Mark and she said yes. She came for two hours every week to study the Word with a roomful of Christians. She asked great questions and wanted real answers. The high point of my evangelism was that I let her come to my study.

One day after many months of this, I had the brilliant insight that it might be a good idea for someone to ask Kelly if she would like to follow Jesus. She seemed hungry for God and I felt vaguely guilty that I hadn’t been doing much evangelism so I decided I would ask her. She probably won’t say yes, but at least I can stop feeling guilty, I thought.

As I was ringing her doorbell I was thinking, I’ll ask, she’ll say no, and I’ll leave. This will be quick. And it was.

“Well, Kelly,” I paused and took a deep breath. “You’ve been coming to Mark study for awhile and I know you’ve enjoyed it and learned a lot about Jesus. Do you think you’re ready to follow him like we see Peter and others doing in Mark? If not, that’s okay, I just wanted to ask.”

“I’ve already been thinking about it myself,” she said. “And yes, I’m ready.”

After my initial shock wore off, I asked her if she wanted to pray. I didn’t know what else I was supposed to do. “Let’s pray. It’s easy, just talk to Jesus like a friend who is in the room,” I said. I had the privilege of leading Kelly into the Kingdom that day.

As Kelly called her brother and her family to tell them the good news, I walked home in awe that another person’s eternal destiny was changed right in front of my eyes. Four years later, Kelly is still following Jesus and recently returned from a missions trip in Latin America.

Something changed for me that day too. It was clear that Kelly didn’t accept Jesus because I was an evangelistic pro. I didn’t invite her to the Mark study. When we did talk, I didn’t have perfect answers. I wasn’t even all that hopeful for her. The lesson I learned was that God doesn’t need me to be a pro for him to change someone’s life. He just wants me to be faithful and he will take care of the rest. Instead of the God who grades me, I saw a God who wants to open doors for me. I saw him as a God who wants to give me joy in seeing him at work.

The God of small things

Luke 16:10 says, “Whoever is faithful in a very little is faithful also in much; and whoever is dishonest in a very little is dishonest also in much.” God is intensely interested in the small things. The small steps of faithfulness you take matter in the kingdom. Whenever I am tempted to think that evangelism is all about being a pro, I remind myself of this verse. God isn’t harshly giving out F’s to people who aren’t evangelism experts. He wants to know if you can be faithful with little. He wants to teach you how to be faithful with more and more.

After my senior year, I thought I must not be good enough at evangelism or else my friends would have responded differently. I thought my failure was that I wasn’t a pro. But, that year was not a failure. The failure was during the following two years when I hardly tried to talk about my faith. The failure was believing that God wouldn’t use me in evangelism and leaving it to my friends in the fellowship who seemed more confident. The failure was thinking God was interested in my expertise, not my faithfulness.

God was teaching me a lesson my senior year. He was teaching me how to be faithful with what I had. He was teaching me how to love the lost regardless of response. He was teaching me how to have a heart that breaks for people. I misinterpreted that year as a failure, as a sign that God would never use me, as proof that I am not an evangelist. God does want to use me and has continued to teach me about evangelism since that day with Kelly. For the last two years, I’ve been leading a GIG weekly. It’s always the highlight of my week. Talking and interacting regularly with people about Jesus is one of the most life-giving parts of my day. It reminds me over and over again how amazing Jesus is and why I have chosen to follow him.

How could we define true success in evangelism? It may not be what you think. It isn’t about getting it all right. Success in God’s kingdom means faithfulness. Think about this past year: Did you try? Were you faithful? You don’t need to be an expert or even an extravert. You don’t need to be something you aren’t—you just need to be faithful with what God gives you. God is inviting you into his joy!

You can actually be grateful for (rather than envious of) models of evangelists who are further along. God wants to help you become stronger, and you should seek out opportunities to grow. Just don’t expect to get there overnight. Learn to be faithful in a little so you can be faithful in much. Let God teach you how.

Ignore the accuser

Satan has duped many of us, especially Asian Americans. He has tricked us into believing we cannot be evangelists because we think we lack confidence, confrontational personalities, skills, good answers or expertise. You probably have your own list of things that make you feel insecure. Don’t let Satan have the satisfaction of watching you sit among those lies.

Esther was placed in the king’s palace “for such a time as this” (Esther 4:16). She didn’t think she had much to give, but when the time came for her to step up, she did. It’s time for us to step up. Who knows? Perhaps God has placed you in your dorm or in your classes or on your campus for such a time as this. Who knows what he wants to do through you? You never know whose life God wants to change through your faithfulness.

One afternoon when I was in junior high school, my little sister, who was in third grade, came home from a friend’s house crying. Through her tears, she told me that a bully who lived down the street had spit on her and her friend as they were playing and told them they were losers. I was furious! My big sister instincts kicked in and, taking her by the hand, I marched right down to the bully’s house. “You’d better not touch my little sister again or you’ll answer to me!” (My anger made me feel tougher and bigger than I was.) I told her not to associate with him anymore. And I am proud to say that after that, he never bothered her again.

Why am I telling you this story? I’m telling you because I want to tell my brothers and sisters in Christ—and especially my Asian-American brothers and sisters—if Satan has convinced you that you aren’t an evangelist or that God would never use you that way, don’t let him do that anymore. You are a witness to God’s life-changing work. You are an evangelist because you have good news to tell. I say this to you not as an expert but as a big sister who doesn’t want to let Satan bully you anymore.

When you imagine what an evangelist looks like in your head, maybe you still see someone who looks nothing like you. If you’re Asian like me, you probably still see a non-Asian face. But I hope that won’t always be true. I hope that someday soon when you think of an evangelist, the face you see in your mind will look more and more like the face you see in your mirror.

Tracy Shyr is a second generation Chinese American who has grown up in California her whole life. She graduated from UCLA, where she is now the InterVarsity staff team leader.