Click to hide HTML preview

Sketches of Leadership - students3.indd SKETCHES of Leadership o o o o >
G @
ood Question Asking
Mark 4:9 Then Jesus asked him, `What is your name?' He replied, `My name is Legion; for
we are many.'
Mark 8:22-30 They came to Bethsaida. Some people brought a blind man to him and begged
him to touch him. 23He took the blind man by the hand and led him out of the village; and when he
had put saliva on his eyes and laid his hands on him, he asked him, `Can you see anything?' 24And
the man looked up and said, `I can see people, but they look like trees, walking.' 25Then Jesus laid
his hands on his eyes again; and he looked intently and his sight was restored, and he saw everything
clearly. 26Then he sent him away to his home, saying, `Do not even go into the village.' [...] 27 Jesus
went on with his disciples to the villages of Caesarea Philippi; and on the way he asked his disciples,
`Who do people say that I am?' 28And they answered him, `John the Baptist; and others, Elijah; and
still others, one of the prophets.' 29He asked them, `But who do you say that I am?' Peter answered
@
What do you notice about the
him, `You are the Messiah.' 30And he sternly ordered them not to tell anyone about him.
questions Jesus asks?
Mark 9:14-29 When they came to the disciples, they saw a great crowd around them,
and some scribes arguing with them. 15When the whole crowd saw him, they were immediately
overcome with awe, and they ran forward to greet him. 16He asked them, `What are you arguing
about with them?' 17Someone from the crowd answered him, `Teacher, I brought you my son; he
has a spirit that makes him unable to speak; 18and whenever it seizes him, it dashes him down; and
he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid; and I asked your disciples to cast it out, but they
could not do so.' 19He answered them, `You faithless generation, how much longer must I be among
you? How much longer must I put up with you? Bring him to me.' 20And they brought the boy
to him. When the spirit saw him, immediately it threw the boy into convulsions, and he fell on the
ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth. 21Jesus asked the father, `How long has this been
happening to him?' And he said, `From childhood. 22It has often cast him into the fi re and into the
water, to destroy him; but if you are able to do anything, have pity on us and help us.' 23Jesus said
to him, `If you are able!--All things can be done for the one who believes.' 24Immediately the father
of the child cried out, `I believe; help my unbelief!' 25When Jesus saw that a crowd came running
together, he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, `You spirit that keep this boy from speaking
and hearing, I command you, come out of him, and never enter him again!' 26After crying out and
convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said, `He is
dead.' 27But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he was able to stand. 28When he
had entered the house, his disciples asked him privately, `Why could we not cast it out?' 29He said to
them, `This kind can come out only through prayer.'many.'
Mark 10:35-37 James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came forward to him and said to him,
`Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.' 36And he said to them, `What is it you
want me to do for you?' 37And they said to him, `Grant us to sit, one at your right hand and one at
your left, in your glory.'
Mark 10:51 Then Jesus said to him, `What do you want me to do for you?' The blind man said
to him, `My teacher, let me see again.'
INTERVARSITY
Sketches of Leadership #34

SKETCHES of Leadership o o o o >
G @
ood Question Asking
Mark 4:9 Then Jesus asked him, `What is your name?' He replied, `My name is Legion; for
we are many.'
Mark 8:22-30 They came to Bethsaida. Some people brought a blind man to him and begged
him to touch him. 23He took the blind man by the hand and led him out of the village; and when he
had put saliva on his eyes and laid his hands on him, he asked him, `Can you see anything?' 24And
the man looked up and said, `I can see people, but they look like trees, walking.' 25Then Jesus laid
his hands on his eyes again; and he looked intently and his sight was restored, and he saw everything
clearly. 26Then he sent him away to his home, saying, `Do not even go into the village.' [...] 27 Jesus
went on with his disciples to the villages of Caesarea Philippi; and on the way he asked his disciples,
`Who do people say that I am?' 28And they answered him, `John the Baptist; and others, Elijah; and
still others, one of the prophets.' 29He asked them, `But who do you say that I am?' Peter answered
@
What do you notice about the
him, `You are the Messiah.' 30And he sternly ordered them not to tell anyone about him.
questions Jesus asks?
Mark 9:14-29 When they came to the disciples, they saw a great crowd around them,
and some scribes arguing with them. 15When the whole crowd saw him, they were immediately
· Jesus asks questions to
overcome with awe, and they ran forward to greet him. 16He asked them, `What are you arguing
help him understand what
about with them?' 17Someone from the crowd answered him, `Teacher, I brought you my son; he
he is dealing with.
has a spirit that makes him unable to speak; 18and whenever it seizes him, it dashes him down; and
· He asks questions that
lead people into greater
he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid; and I asked your disciples to cast it out, but they
faith.
could not do so.' 19He answered them, `You faithless generation, how much longer must I be among
· He asks rhetorical
you? How much longer must I put up with you? Bring him to me.' 20And they brought the boy
questions meant to get
to him. When the spirit saw him, immediately it threw the boy into convulsions, and he fell on the
his disciples to think and
learn: he wants to make
ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth. 21Jesus asked the father, `How long has this been
them think
happening to him?' And he said, `From childhood. 22It has often cast him into the fi re and into the
· He asks people to
water, to destroy him; but if you are able to do anything, have pity on us and help us.' 23Jesus said
express what they want
to him, `If you are able!--All things can be done for the one who believes.' 24Immediately the father
from Jesus--he doesn't
assume he knows
of the child cried out, `I believe; help my unbelief!' 25When Jesus saw that a crowd came running
· He honors people by
together, he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, `You spirit that keep this boy from speaking
listening to their requests
and hearing, I command you, come out of him, and never enter him again!' 26After crying out and
and their answers to his
convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said, `He is
questions
dead.' 27But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he was able to stand. 28When he
had entered the house, his disciples asked him privately, `Why could we not cast it out?' 29He said to
them, `This kind can come out only through prayer.'many.'
Mark 10:35-37 James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came forward to him and said to him,
`Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.' 36And he said to them, `What is it you
want me to do for you?' 37And they said to him, `Grant us to sit, one at your right hand and one at
your left, in your glory.'
Mark 10:51 Then Jesus said to him, `What do you want me to do for you?' The blind man said
to him, `My teacher, let me see again.'
Leaders' notes: In the gospels, Jesus often asks "bad questions": rhetorical questions
that he knows the answer to, questions that make people think but not to elicit infor-
INTERVARSITY
mation (for example, "How long must I be with you?"). But when Jesus is not teach-
ing, he can be very pastoral and ask open-ended, good questions. Don't be caught up
in all the examples of "bad questions" in scripture--we aren't saying that there is no
place for these kinds of questions, but that they aren't the kind of questions designed
Sketches of Leadership #34
to help a friend or to listen well to someone who is struggling.

G @
SKETCHES of Leadership o o o o >
ood Question Asking
Leadership involves two-way communication. In talking with people, the way we use words is critical. We can encourage or discourage people, open
them up or close them to us; we can motivate and inspire or dampen enthusiasm and engender doubts. Of course, this is a leadership skill, but really
this is simply a friendship skill. We want to be the kind of friends that know how to draw out the thoughts and feelings of our friends well. We want
to love people by listening well to them.
We want to learn to ask questions that will treat people like their thoughts and feelings are important. When we ask questions that are open-ended,
we hear more from them and learn more about them than if we ask specifi c questions looking for specifi c answers. Consider the difference between
"What did you enjoy about your day?" and "Did you have a good day?" The fi rst question is more open-ended, and is likely to get more response
than the one word "yes" of the second question.
We can get pumped up to ask people questions and then get trapped in a form of questioning that produces defensiveness on the part of the re-
sponder, simply because we ask questions of them the way a lawyer asks questions while cross-examining a witness. Lawyers, with a witness on the
stand, know they are never to ask a question to which they don't know the answer. The point, in a cross-examination, is not to discover the truth,
but to highlight the points of information that make the truth sound like what the lawyer wants it to sound like. That is, in fact, the lawyer's job. But
that is not our job, when we are trying to listen well to our students and friends. So we need a different approach, one that doesn't make people
defensive (for they have nothing to defend), one that makes them the expert, the one with the real information regarding the best way to make the
decision. So we ask questions of the following type:
Bad Questions
Good Questions
Yes/No: Could, would, should, do, did, will, can
What, where, when, who, how
Closed-ended
Open-ended
General
Directed toward specifi c categories of information
Content-oriented
Process-oriented
Leading
Stimulates thinking
Threatening
Non-threatening
C @
Why are you ...?
What are the reasons you are...?
ase Studies
Presenting Issue
Friend desires your approval for their decision Friend desires your approval for their decision to
to drop the commitment they've made to
move out of their apartment, leaving roommates
your team
behind
What concerns do you
You fear that their decision is based in self-
You know her roommates have made different
protection and risk avoidance rather than in
lifestyle choices which are hard for your friend. Her
have?
wisdom
confl ict-avoidance and harboring resentments have
increased the tension
Bad Questions you'd be
How do you think the others will feel, being
Do you have a string of broken relationships and
dropped like this? How do you think I feel?
unreconciled friendships behind you?
tempted to ask
What could possibly be a higher priority than Is this your usual way of dealing with relational
serving in this way?
tension?
Open-ended questions that What are the commitments in your week you How have your conversations gone
most enjoy? What is satisfying about them?
regarding your hopes to move out?
would actually help
What priorities make this choice look
What are the tension points in your
attractive? What would be sacrifi ced?
relationships? How do you contribute?
What could you do to address these
How could these tradeoffs be avoided?
tensions? How might God be at work?
Practice Now: Take some time in pairs to work on asking good questions. One of you present an dilemma or issue about which you are
seeking clarity, perhaps a decision you are really facing. Or else you could talk about a recent event regarding which you still have some unpro-
cessed feelings (positive or negative). The other will be simply trying to draw out the one speaking, by asking good questions and trying to help
the one gain clarity, perspective, or peace. Take fi ve minutes (or so) then switch roles.
INTERVARSITY ®
Sketches of Leadership #34
©2007 InterVarsity Christian Fellowship 6400 Schroeder Road, P.O. Box 7895 Madison, WI 53707-7895
tel 608.274.9001 email info@intervarsity.org web www.intervarsity.org

Document Outline

34S.pdf
34L.pdf

Sketch 34 Good Question Asking

Document Outline