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c o a c h i n g
for kingdom and c ampus result s
version 1.0
t a b l e o f c o n t e n t s
1.01 Marks of an effective coach
2.01 How to get the most out of your coaching experience
3.01 Coaching analysis: learning from the gap
3.04 Table: The multiple roles of a supervisor
4.01 What an effective coaching session looks like
5.01 General coaching questions
6.01 Questioning tips for coaches
7.01 Listening tips for coaches
8.01 Feedback tips for coaches
9.01 Caring and confronting
10.01 The 4-stage launch process
11.01 Books and websites for coaches
W o r k s h e e t s
W.01 Coaching calendar and activities
(copyable page)
W.02 Building rapport with your planter
W.03 First coaching session
W.08 First coaching visit agenda
(copyable page)
W.09 Coaching Log
(copyable page)
W.10 Visit report
(copyable page)
W.11 Symptoms of imbalance/ Ways to increase energy
m a r k s o f a n e f f e c t i v e c o a c h
Great coaches know their sport. When Vince Lombardi took on his job with
the perpetually-losing Green Bay Packers in 1958, he already had 25 years
of football--not badminton--experience.
As a chapter planter coach, you are here because you also have
experience in your "sport" (i.e., campus evangelism/outreach) and a good
understanding of the strategy and goals of InterVarsity's chapter planting
initiative. With that as a given, here are eight marks that are foundational
to being a good coach to your planter.
1. A GooD CoACh estAblishes A trustinG relAtionship
With his/her plAnter.
"
The prerequisite for coaching is a basic trust in the coachee and
confidence that he or she wants to improve." --Bhatia Samir
· As Christ-fol owers, we need to coach "from the inside out." Our hearts have
to be "with" the planter. Jesus said in Matthew 6:21: "For where your treasure
is, there wil your heart be also." We have to treasure what the planter needs
more than our need to "straighten them out" or "tel them how to do it." We
need to practice saying to ourselves ..."This is not about me."
· Jesus also said in Matthew 15:18: "But the things that come out of the
mouth come from the heart..."
· Trust is built as three things occur: We show true compassion, tell the
truth in love, and get results from the process. These outcomes combine
to create trust.
· Trust has to be two-way. It is not just the person you are coaching who
must trust you, but you must trust the person you are coaching.
· The `chemistry' has to be right between a coach and the planter. An
attitude of openness, honesty, caring, and authenticity go a long way
toward developing trust and credibility. You as coach set the tone by
being real, sharing from the heart, being free to admit mistakes, and
longing to see the planter succeed.
1.01
2. A GooD CoACh ApproAChes CoAChinG from A
"pArtnership perspeCtive."
"
Coaching is not a spectator sport. A productive coaching relationship
begins with two people with fire in their bellies: One who wants
desperately to move forward and another who yearns to help that
person make the journey. " --James Belasco
· This is a journey where the focused dialogue of two is stronger than one
to bring about personal development and move the mission forward.
· In good coaching relationships, there is joint or shared ownership of the
task--even if the roles are different and even not equal. The victories
and disappointments, the setbacks and successes belong to you both.
· Know your role. You are a coach, not a mentor, spiritual director, pastor
of care or supervisor. Practice saying, "I am not the Messiah."
· Watch out for triangulation! Keep lines of communication open and
direct with your supervisor and planter. Trust your planter and supervisor,
but verify what comes at you via a third party.
3. A GooD CoACh hAs stronG listeninG skills.
"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become
angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God
desires." --James 1:19
· The presenting idea, problem or challenge is not always the real one.
Listen for emotion as well as for the facts.
· Coaching conversations include careful listening to (a) verify facts (i.e.,
grounded in reality), (b) clarify your goals, (c) align your actions with
your purpose as a planter, and (d) support your steps to realize your
intentions.
· Coaches can stay focused and block out distractions when listening.
They practice active listening and seek to understand the planter's
perspective, thoughts, concerns and feelings.
4. A GooD CoACh Asks GreAt questions.
"
The directional or strategic power of any coaching dialogue lies primarily
in its ability to question." --Laurence S. Lyons
· Again, the presenting idea, problem or challenge is not always the real
1.02
one. Your questions should probe for the meaning behind what is being
said. "What does this mean to you?" is a great question to get at the
real deal. Another is: "Is there an underlying or deeper question we
need to answer here?"
· Asking questions builds ownership and empowers planters to take
action and make choices. What you focus on, you get in return.
Coaching seeks to ask questions to paint a clear picture of your current
reality (facts), open up new possibilities (perspective), and provide new
choices (actions).
5. A GooD CoACh thinks AnAlytiCAlly AnD strAteGiCAlly.
"
Any enterprise is built through wise planning, becomes strong through
common sense, and profits wonderfully by keeping abreast of the
facts." --Proverbs 24: 3-4 (TLB)
Analytical thinking "peels the onion." Here are some questions
to help do this:
· At its essence, what is the issue or decision we are facing?
· What does Scripture tell us in these situations?
· What facts should we have before we decide with total confidence?
· What trends, changes, or problems might be driving this?
· Is this a cause or a symptom or a result of some other action that should
be changed?
· Any hidden agendas at work here?
· Can this be broken into parts to make it more analytical?
· Is there a hierarchy of preferred outcomes we need to establish?
· How does this decision impact our overall plan or stage we are in?
· What strengths can we use to deal with this?
· Does this expose us in any way to an unwarranted threat?
· What if we did nothing?
· What would the counter-intuitive or "opposite direction" option be and
what are the strengths and risks of it?
· What would this look like 24 hours from now?
Adapted from Boardroom Confidence
, by Bobb Biehl and Ted W. Engstrom.
1.03
Strategic thinking can also occur as you identify recent unsatisfactory
mission results (either the coach or the CSM). Consider this as a case study.
· Talk together about the possible ways employee performance and
behavior contributed to the unsatisfactory results. Refuse to allow all
the blame to go to external circumstances or other people; then there
is no hope of improvement. Discuss behavioral patterns, habits and
motivations that serve as barriers to success in this aspect of the mission.
Did employee behavior limit the success of the effort? How?
· Talk together about strategies and tactics that were employed but
did not achieve the desired results. Did poor or misguided strategic or
tactical choices themselves contribute to a lack of success? How?
· Talk about the resources that may have been lacking. Did time, money
or tool allocation issues put success out of the reach of the employee?
What could be done differently to make these resources available?
· Talk about the possible need for further training or practice on the part
of the employee. Did the employee's lack of skill or ability to carry out
the plan or strategy limit the success of the effort? How?
· Ask what changes need to be made to increase the likelihood of a
successful outcome of the next opportunity? -- behavior, training,
practice, planning, tactics, strategy
6. A GooD CoACh proviDes honest, strAiGhtforWArD
AnD CleAr feeDbACk.
"
The great advantage of humility is that it is an effective foundation for
learning, with complacency and arrogance the most powerful barriers to
learning." --Bruce Lloyd
· To be effective in missional coaching, it is essential to help the person
being coached to accept and reflect on feedback (observations/
perceptions about behavior, attitudes and actions).
· Feedback that reflects on `wins' can identify personal strengths,
attitudes and actions to build on for increased effectiveness.
· Feedback that points out areas for growth usually reveals a new
perspective, illuminates a blind spot, or confronts denial. This type of
feedback requires courage.
· A handout has been provided that offers tips on building this skill.
1.04
7. A GooD CoACh hAs A pAssion for results.
"
Measure what's important and what is measured will become
important." --Source Unknown
· As a coach, you and the planter have to "begin with the end in mind."
In IVCF that end is: To establish and advance witnessing communities of
students and faculty that follow Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.
· Your passion has to be for outcomes, as well as the process along the
way. Planters are likely to lose sight of what is important at various
times. Your passion for the outcome will keep them going.
· You will have to work at seeking constructive outcomes, and move the
planter towards commitment to align his/her actions with his missional
purpose and intentions.
· Stay in the conversation. Don't exit mentally when on the phone or
on-site. Stick with the discussion until specific, measurable, and realistic
action plans are set ... along with a means of follow-up, giving support,
and accountability for results.
8. A GooD CoACh prACtiCes GooD self-CAre.
"
No one is saying that the construction of a balanced life is easy. It
requires regular negotiation and renegotiation among at least three
forces: the inner set of priorities and values you have set for yourself,
the demands of your career, and fluctuating needs of the people you
love." --Alan Loy McGinnis
· Negotiation and re-negotiation of what is best for you will not occur
on the fly. Schedule time to check your key health indicators in your
spiritual, physical, emotional, relational and mental realms.
· Monitor your energy level and KNOW what replenishes you and when.
· Commit to keep your skills sharp. Take advantage of the ongoing
support that InterVarsity Christian Fellowship will provide to you.
· Remember that self-care occurs both alone and in community. Figure
out what you need and when. For inspiration, read Matthew 14:22ff.
1.05
h o w t o g e t t h e m o s t o u t o f y o u r
c o a c h i n g e x p e r i e n c e
There are huge benefits from being a coach. What you learn in this experience
wil sharpen your relational skil s, strengthen your capacity to motivate others
toward a goal, increase your understanding of your own strengths and
weaknesses--and build your faith in Christ as wel ! To get these benefits
though you will need to actively engage the following principles:
1.
Establish its priority early on.
Is this your day job? If not, be realistic. Establish the amount of resources
you will give this assignment and the intensity with which you can address
this. Then give that block of resources--a solid 100%.
2.
Keep a journal of lessons learned.
Coaching can be a rewarding and challenging experience. Record your
highs and lows, your lessons learned about yourself, the planter, campus
and process. Somewhere downstream, the value of this journal will return
itself many times over.
3.
Lean into the resistance.
Resistance comes in all shapes. It can masquerade in a variety of forms. Our
tendency in life is to either deny it, boundary it and do nothing about it,
or go to negative emotions of worry, anger or despair. Just like a physical
workout of resistance training, you will get more out of your coaching by
moving toward resistance rather than away from it. Stay in the moment.
(For a back to basics overview on resistance you might encounter, go to: http://
www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m3495/is_n4_v41/ai_18298708/pg_1)
4.
Apply immediately what you learn in your
other work and relationships.
Experience shows that the more we practice a new value or learning and
the more we do that right away, the more likely it is to stick with us. If you
learn an effective way to motivate your planter or handle conflict, bring
that learning home. If you learned how to be more culturally relevant or
scope out the land through this effort, take it back to your campus. Quickly
applied learning tends to stick with us.
2.01
5. Be willing to "get lost."
The path forward is not clearly marked for any of us. Six months from
now all of us in IVCF will have a better grasp on what it means to plant a
chapter in the 21st century. We all have to be willing to "get lost" and find
our way. That requires flexibility in attitude and approaches. Form follows
function here too.
6. Ask for help!
You are not expected to fix everything in your planter's world. IVCF stands
behind you with the force and history of the entire organization. "No news
is good news" will probably signal trouble to senior leadership. So put your
supervisor and IVCF on your speed dial.
2.02
c o a c h i n g a n a l y s i s : l e a r n i n g f r o m t h e g a p
Rich Lamb, Nov. 2006
Goal
t h e r e s u l t s G A p
-- Gap
Actual Results
A c t u a l P r o g r e s s
I d e a l P a t h To w a r d G o a l
T i m e
Questions for a missional coaching analysis and discussion
1. Identify recent unsatisfactory mission results (either the coach or the
CSM). Consider this as a case study.
2. Talk together about the possible ways employee performance and
behavior contributed to the unsatisfactory results. Refuse to allow all the
blame to go to external circumstances or other people, for then there
is no hope of improvement. Consider behavioral patterns, habits and
motivations that serve as barriers to success in this aspect of the mission.
Did employee behavior limit the success of the effort? How?
3. Talk together about strategies and tactics that were employed but
did not achieve the desired results. Did poor or misguided strategic or
tactical choices themselves contribute to a lack of success? How?
4. Talk about the resources that may have been lacking. Did time, money
or tool allocation issues put success out of the reach of the employee?
What could be done differently to make these resources available?
5. Talk about the possible need for further training or practice on the part
of the employee. Did the employee's lack of skill or ability to carry out
the plan or strategy limit the success of the effort? How?
6. What changes need to be made to increase the likelihood of a
successful outcome of the next opportunity?--behavior, training,
practice, planning, tactics, strategy.
7. Agree upon a few specific and measurable goals and deadlines for the
changes to be made.
For example, the CSM may have been expecting (based on fellowship
size and history) to bring ten students to an area conference, but only is
3.01
able to recruit two. This result is unsatisfactory, and probably related to
employee performance, but not in a linear fashion. The poor results could
be due to a combination of linked issues:
· The CSM may lack good recruitment skills (a trainable skill issue)
· The CSM may have indeterminate recruitment skills but didn't believe in
the value of this particular event (a motivation and team player issue)
· The CSM may have been discouraged after a couple of negative
conversations with students (a character--persistence--issue)
· The CSM may have never had a plan to recruit students for the
conference, and only done so in a haphazard way (a planning issue)
· The CSM may have expected that student leaders (who had themselves
never attended this conference nor were they planning to attend) were the
ones to recruit students to come to the conference (a strategy/tactics issue)
· The successful campus sports team might have a crucial home game
that weekend (obstacles beyond the CSM's control)
In fact, most of these could have been going on to some extent
(motivation, character, strategy, planning issues) but the CSM's ready and
unreflective explanation, upon being asked by his or her supervisor, is the
one that absolves the CSM of responsibility, "The team had a home game
this weekend that will determine their eligibility for a bowl game spot. No
one wanted to miss the game."
A supervisor has many roles: manager (supervising FR, reports, etc),
pastoral care (asking about family, Sabbath, spiritual growth, emotional
health), and missional coaching (watching performance and giving timely
and specific feedback, addressing training needs, adapting assignments to
the ongoing developmental needs of the staff person).
Pastoral Care
Managment
and Personal
Development
t h r e e C i r C l e s o f
Missional
s u p e r v i s i o n
Coaching
3.02
It is possible that supervisors can fail to take on the appropriate role of
coach because that is the most time-intensive role to take on. Yet that is
exactly what is necessary to see improvements in performance and results.
(See the chart following this article.)
The challenge for a supervisor is to get beyond the pastoral concerns and
coach for missional success. When people fail to reach their hopes and
goals, supervisors may want to pastor them, to encourage and support
them. Coaching (in part by asking these difficult questions) may seem harsh
or unfeeling. Yet coaching can actually be pastoral, in so far as people want
to improve, and coaching can show the way. Nothing salves the pain of
failure and disappointment like hope and success.
Ideal mission results coaching discussions involve discrete results, where the
issue can be understood in a finite way. "Failure to grow this year" can be
broken down into its constituent parts for more fruitful analysis.
f u n D A m e n t A l C o m p o n e n t s o f G r o W i n G C h A p t e r s
3.03
t h e m u l t i p l e p o t e n t i a l r o l e s o f a s u p e r v i s o r
s u p e r v i s o r y
C o A C h
t r A i n e r
m A n A G e r
s h e p h e r D
m e n t o r
r o l e :
t o p - l i n e
Mission
Job skills,
Performance goals
Spiritual and
Career and future
f o C u s :
Effectiveness
knowledge, abilities and standards
emotional health
wisdom and
(SKAs), habits
guidance
relAtionAl/ tAsk High relational
Low relational
Low relational
High relational
High relational
orientAtion:
High task
High task
High task
Low task
Low task
What works?
What SKAs are
What are your
How are you,
How can we think
k e y
What does not?
needed? How can
expectations and
really? How can
through your growth
q u e s t i o n s : How do we
we ensure they will
requirements? How
you become more
& development?
become more
be put into use?
are you accomplishing healed and whole?
effective?
the tasks we've
agreed you'll do?
How can you work How can you
What things have
How does your
What is your next
e x A m p l e s :
toward increasing
improve your
you done to shore
family feel about
growth opportunity?
leadership team
training for student up your deficit?
your travel?
retention?
leaders?
k e y s k i l l s Analysis, vision,
High impact training Attention,
Compassion and
Listening and
o f r o l e :
motivation;
and teaching
accountability,
thoughtfulness
wisdom
emotional intel igence
follow-through
r e s o u r C e s Tactics & strategies Insights and
Systems and tools
Prayer and support
Experience and
o f f e r e D :
paradigms
networking
Patience and
Servanthood: I care
Integrity: We both
Care: I value you
Loyalty: I care
fAithfulness is Persistence: I wil keep more that you learn will do what we say more than just for
more for your
at it with you until
what you need and we'll do.
the work you do.
development than I
expresseD As:
we discover keys to act on it than that I
do for how the goals
effective ministry in teach what I want.
of the organization
your context.
are met by you.
ChAllenGe is Courageous and
Drills and practice
Accountability w/
Speaking the truth
Enlarging vision and
expresseD As: dogged analysis
consequences but
in love
elongating horizon
w/o shame
support is Confidence in
Noticing and
Frequent, specific,
Prayerful sharing
Sponsorship and
expresseD As: supervisee's ability acknowledging
timely Affirmation
of burdens and
investment for the
to succeed
improvement
celebration of joys
journey
helpinG the Do the right things Do the right things Keep priorities &
Do ministry in a
Pursue life in a
supervisee to: successfully
proficiently
commitments
healthy way
developmental way
A n o t h e r W A y Discover together
Train toward
Manage progress in Ensure that other
Think beyond the
t o p u t i t :
what it takes to
proficiency in those the accomplishment things do not hinder present tasks to
"win" or succeed
tasks
of those tasks
progress
what lies further
ahead
When it is
The supervisee is
The supervisee
The supervisee is
The supervisee is
The supervisee
becoming more
is learning and
making progress
growing spiritually
has vision for
GoinG Well . . . fruitful
applying it
and relationally
his/her future and is
pursuing it well
C ontribution Ministry vision and Ministry
Organizational
Personal health
Personal
to mor Ale:
practical help
competence
consistency
and relational
empowerment
community
3.04
what an effective coaching session looks like
Coaching should always be tailored to the individual
notes
founDAtions
planter's needs. Below is a simple five-step process
that wil work in many coaching sessions.
Step 1: Begin with prayer
Ask the Holy Spirit to help you listen and to provide
guidance, clarity, wisdom, and insight as needed.
Step 2: How are you--really?
Just as life is not broken out into separate areas,
the planter brings all aspects of his/her life to the
coaching session. Therefore, it is important to find
out what is pressing in the planter's life.
Some sample questions include:
· How are you feeling?
· How's your family?
· Anything I can pray for you about that's really
stretching you right now?
· What have you been doing to play?
Step 3: Check progress
Get the facts and the planter's perceptions using
questions such as the fol owing:
· What has been accomplished since we last
met/talked? How is this being done?
· What has encouraged you?
What has been a challenge?
· What have you learned? What have you
observed about yourself or the team
you are working with?
· What has unfolded that will affect what we
talk about or do today or your long-term
agenda or goals?
4.01
Step 4: Agree on day's agenda
notes
founDAtions
Questions you might ask include the following:
· What is your agenda, or, what do you want
to focus on today?
(Note: If several items come
up, pick no more than two key issues to focus on.)
· Are there any long-range, big-picture
questions we can focus on? Any immediate
challenges we'll want to talk about?
· While the choice of each session's agenda
is the planter's, part of the coach's job is to
help the planter keep the wide, long view.
Step 5: What's next?
Decide what you will focus on before your
next session.
· Choose questions for reflection, action
items (projects), habits to initiate or
strengthen, focuses to hold, or outside
resources (such as reading, or key
conversations) to utilize.
· A possible statement would be: "We can
create a series of possibilities together:
I frequently make suggestions, but the
ultimate commitment to specific choices is
up to you."
· Choose only one or two high impact
areas on which to focus, with the planter
choosing the goal.
· Before you leave, be sure you both reach
consensus about what the area of focus
will be and what outcome you are trying to
move toward or achieve.
4.02
g e n e r a l c o a c h i n g Q u e s t i o n s
Below are some sample questions to help maximize
notes
founDAtions
your coaching session. Remember to establish a
friendly rapport before asking the questions, since
building the relationship is key to effective coaching.
1. What have you accomplished since our last
conversation (or visit)?
2. What remains undone? Why?
3. What do you want to talk about during
this call/meeting?
For each of the particular items to discuss:
4. Tell me the facts of the situation.
5. What would your dream solution be?
6. How do you want to accomplish this solution?
7. Describe your next steps to achieve that solution.
8. How can I be of support to you in
accomplishing this?
9. When do you want to meet/talk again?
5.01
Q u e s t i o n i n g t i p s f o r c o a c h e s
Definition
Questions are a form of inquiry that provide tremendous data.
Context
Leaders often are cal ed upon to give answers, while asking questions is the key
tactic of effective coaches. Wel -planned and careful y delivered questions can:
· Encourage storytelling that clarifies the reality and the dream.
· Cultivate personal and organizational awareness.
· Invite reflection.
· Surface emerging options and decisions.
· Develop clear plans.
· Create commitment for action agreements.
Application
Thomas Nebel and Steven Ogne provide 99 Excellent Coaching Questions
in their new book:
Empowering Leaders Through Coaching. Some of their
questions are listed below:
listen ACtively:
· How is your ministry going?
· How are you doing personally?
· How is the family?
· How are you and God doing?
· What issues are important to you now?
· Where are you feeling resistance?
6.01
CelebrAte Wins:
· What are you excited about?
· What is your greatest accomplishment this month?
· What prayers have been answered?
· How has God been faithful?
· Where have you demonstrated your best leadership?
· Who are your most loyal ministry partners?
CAre personAlly:
· What help do you need?
· Where do you receive support and encouragement?
· What have you done to "play"?
· Are you sleeping well?
Note: If the planter is facing issues that need more help than you know how to
offer, contact the coaches' coach, Jim Lundgren.
strAteGize GenerAl plAns:
· What are your immediate priorities?
· How are you continuing to attract and involve new people?
· How is leadership development happening?
· Where are you seeing the most progress?
6.02
l i s t e n i n g t i p s f o r c o a c h e s
Definition
Listening is essential y making an effort to hear or pay attention to another
person for mutual understanding.
Context
The leader tends to listen to multiple stakeholders to envision or create
organizational action. Listening by a coach is more individual y focused;
the coach tends to listen to one person or a smal group to reflect or mirror
intentions. In a very basic way, leaders listen to personal y drive success,
while coaches listen to help others create success. Sever Ogne, author of
Empowering Leaders Through Coaching says: "Coaching is the hands-on
process of helping people succeed."
Application
You can coach others to succeed by using these simple active
listening techniques:
1. observe. According to some writers, one-on-one communication
consists of words (7%), tone (38%), and body language (55%). Make sure
that you pay attention to al three. Incongruency between message, tone, or
delivery is an indicator of thinking or emotions that may need to be clarified.
Record your observations and reflect on them strategical y (see below).
2. enCourAGe. To convey interest and keep your planter talking, use
noncommittal words with a positive tone of voice:
"I see..."
"Yes..."
"That's interesting..."
3. restAte. Periodical y repeat your understanding of the speaker's words:
"I heard you say..."
"So, you think..."
7.01
4. refleCt. Occasionally, check your perception as to what the speaker is
communicating in tone, body language or word. Consider the tone, body or word
clue, form a statement of what the clue is saying, and ask a clarifying question:
Statement: "It appears to me that..." Question: "Is this correct?"
Statement: "I heard you say..."
Question: "Am I right?"
Statement: "I sense that..."
Question: "Is this how you feel?"
5. summArize. Pul ideas and facts together by restating, reflecting,
and summarizing key feelings or ideas. Pay particular attention to repeated
metaphors, story themes or patterns. Issues that can act as barrier points or
release points are often buried in metaphors or themes like natural elements,
battles, fears, joys, places or people. Use the reflection techniques to validate
your observations.
7.02
f e e d b a c k t i p s f o r c o a c h e s
Definition
Feedback is a response or reaction that provides guidelines for adjustment or
development.
Context
In a leadership context, feedback is a critical tool for mid-course correction.
The leader wil often give directive feedback that is focused on creating
specific strategic action. The coach tends to use feedback to reflectively
support the development of an individual or smal group.
John Maxwel , in a 1996
Leadership Journal article, wrote that, "Adding
value comes from listening to people. If I know their heart, then I know
exactly where to add value. I develop the part of themselves they want to see
developed, not what I happen to need at the time. This prevents me from
using people."
Application
You can add value as a coach by providing feedback about the areas that the
other person is longing to see developed.
feeDbACk shoulD be:
· Timely. Provide feedback as soon as possible.
· Specific and descriptive. Be clear about the behavior.
· Goal-oriented. Focus on behavior and value of changing.
· Non-evaluative. Avoid negative terms and personality criticisms.
· Limited. Focus on the smallest number of items that will have the
greatest impact.
· Two-way. Request feedback yourself.
feeDbACk GenerAlly folloWs these steps:
· Solicit the other person's impressions.
"In this situation, what is your perception of how you . . . ?"
8.01
· Describe behaviors observed.
"Where do you see the greatest opportunities for growth in . . . ?"
"I saw . . . " or "I heard . . . " or "I observed . . . "
· Check for agreement or disagreement.
Statement: "It appears to me that . . " Question: "Is this correct?"
Statement: "Is it possible that . . . " Question: "Am I right?"
Statement: "I sense that . . . " Question: "Is this how you feel?"
· Give an opportunity for the other person to suggest alternatives.
"What other ways could you . . . ?"
· Share and explore their ideas.
"What if . . . ?" or "Would you consider . . . ?"
· Close on an upbeat note, perhaps sharing a brief prayer.
8.02
c a r i n g a n d c o n f r o n t i n g
c r e a t i n g r e c e p t i v i t y f o r a c c e p t i n g f e e d b a c k
We are unwil ing to change what we do not believe needs to be changed.
If feedback is not accepted, change wil not occur.
To be effective in missional coaching, it is essential to help the person being
coached to accept and reflect on feedback (e.g., the coach's observations/
perceptions about behavior, attitudes and actions).
Coaching feedback that reflects on "wins" can help the planter identify
personal strengths, attitudes and actions to build on for increased effectiveness.
This can feel exciting and energizing to the planter. Feedback that emphasizes
areas for growth usual y reveals a new perspective, il uminates a blind spot, or
confronts denial. This can feel awkward or uncomfortable.
Obviously, a foundation of openness and trust must be established before
feedback on areas for potential growth can be effective. However, once
this foundation is laid, what does "accepting feedback" look like? It means
the planter acknowledges that the feedback has merit and agrees to more
closely examine his or her actions/ behavior/attitudes with the coach in order
to develop an action plan for change. This is not just head agreement, but a
heart commitment to move forward with transformation.
Key coaching issues to be considered to create receptivity for
accepting feedback:
1. be honest AnD strAiGhtforWArD.
· Subtlety will not breed trust.
· Respect the planter's desire for growth by frankly expressing your
observations and looking for ways to move forward.
2. be CleAr on WhAt neeDs to ChAnGe.
Clarity means:
· The planter understands the feedback and has a clear picture of what
action, behavior, or attitude needs to change.
· The planter is clear about the situations when this action, behavior or
attitude occurs (or does not occur).
9.01
· The planter gets the connection between this action, behavior or
attitude, and his/her personal effectiveness and ability to move forward
with InterVarsity's mission.
3. prioritize feeDbACk.
Ask yourself the fol owing questions . . .
· Is this a key driver for moving forward in mission and personal
performance? In other words, will a change in this behavior or attitude
significantly improve overall performance, or is this something that
bothers either the coach or planter, but is not a critical factor?
· Is there a strong desire on the planter's part to change this behavior?
· Is this an issue that can be relatively easy to change? To increase
motivation, sometimes it is effective to choose the "quick win."
· Choose only one critical issue to develop into an action plan so as not to
overwhelm the planter and to build a pattern of success. Once a "win"
is recorded, move on to another critical issue.
4. pAint A piCture.
Express or state what the desired action, attitude or behavior looks like. This means:
· The planter has a clear picture of what the changed action, behavior, or
attitude looks like.
· The planter is clear about the situations when this changed action,
behavior or attitude needs to occur (or does not occur).
· The planter understands how this new action, behavior or attitude will
increase their personal effectiveness and ability to move forward with
InterVarsity's mission.
5. Work toGether to Develop An ACtion plAn.
Below are questions to help work together to formulate a plan.
· What's going on here?--Identify the problem
· What do we know?--Get the facts
· What are the root causes?--Assess the facts
· What might we do?--Develop solutions
9.02
· What is the best thing to do?--Determine how God is leading
· How do we do it?--Lay a plan and implement
· Is the problem solved?--Measure progress
6. moDel hoW to ACCept feeDbACk
· At the end of each coaching session, solicit feedback from your planter
on your wins as a coach (i.e., what has been most helpful to the planter)
and areas where you can grow or improve as a coach.
· If no feedback is forthcoming on areas for you as a coach to grow,
choose one of the eight marks of an effective coach, and ask to be
rated on a 1 to 10 scale with 10 being high. If it is not a 9 or 10, ask if
the planter has any suggestions that would move you closer to a 10.
· Thank the planter for their feedback.
c a r e - f r o n t i n g i s c o n f r o n t i n g i n a c a r i n g w a y
We are most useful as care-fronters when we are not so much trying to change
other people as we are trying to help them see themselves more accurately.
·
Care-fronting works like showing people their reflections in a
mirror or having them watch a videotape of themselves. They get
a perspective on themselves that they cannot achieve any other way.
·
Care-fronting is not trying to motivate people to change by
condemning them. Sometimes we are tempted to try to get people to
change by making them feel guilty. Instead, we should firmly but lovingly
communicate how their actions are affecting us and then leave the results
to God. This way the change wil be sincere, not the result of manipulation.
·
Care-fronting risks conflict. Whenever we tell someone the truth,
we risk conflict. Conflict is normal; it is not something to be avoided if
we are going to build healthy relationships. There are options available
when we face conflict. Each is sometimes appropriate, but one of them
is generally the best option.
9.03
Five options for dealing with conflict
1. I win--you lose
On rare occasions we have to exercise authority and overpower others. This
may send a message that we do not care about them or their feelings.
2. Retreat
If we constantly withdraw from conflict, nothing is ever solved. However,
it is appropriate to withdraw and regroup if we are in conflict with
someone who is about to overpower us.
3. I give in
If the source of conflict is an issue that does not matter, it is okay to
give in to the other person. However, if we are always giving in and not
standing our ground, we wil become angry on the inside even though we
may be smiling on the outside.
4. I will meet you halfway
This is an excel ent way to resolve conflict. Negotiation is used to settle
everyday differences. The problems come when we are pressured to
violate our standards in order to reach a settlement. Truth cannot be
sacrificed for peace.
5. I care enough to confront
This is an excellent way to approach a conflict. We let others know what
we want and need from them. We let them see how their actions are
impacting us, and at the same time, we are asking them how they see
us and what they need from us. This approach communicates care and
respect, and it strengthens the bonds between people.
Carefully frame your words to help a person level
and respond honestly
·
Focus your feedback on your observations, not your conclusions.
Comment not on what you think, imagine, or infer but on what you have
actual y seen or heard. Conclusions wil evoke immediate defensiveness.
Example of good feedback: "You are not looking at me and not
answering when I speak. Please give me your attention and answer."
·
Focus your feedback on descriptions, not judgments. Do not
comment on another's behavior as nice or rude, right or wrong. Use a
9.04
clear, accurate description in neutral language. When a value judgment
is received, there is a momentary break in contact. Example of good
feedback: "I am aware that your reply to my request for information was
silence. Please tel me what this means."
·
Focus feedback on ideas, information, and alternatives, not
advice and answers. Comment not with instructions on what to do
with the data you have to offer but on what the data, the facts, suggest
for additional options. The more options that are available, the less likely
it is that a person wil come to a premature solution. Example of good
feedback: "I have several other options that you may have thought about,
but let me run them by you again."
·
Focus feedback not on why but on what and how. "Why" critiques
values, motives and intents. "Why" is judgmental; "what" and "how"
relate to observable actions, behaviors, words, and tone of voice.
Example of good feedback: "Here is where we are; let's examine it."
·
Care-fronting should be done in a caring, gentle, constructive,
and clear manner. Never care-front in a way that could be interpreted
as blaming, shaming, or punishing.
Taken from Living Free Coordinator's Guide
, Jimmy Ray Lee and Dan Strickland, Turning
Point, Chattanooga, TN, 1999, pp 127-129. Used with Permission from Livingfree.org
t r i a n g u l a t i o n i n c o a c h i n g a n d s u p e r v i s i o n
As the coach and supervisory work together to further the ministry of a staff
member on campus it is critical to guard al three sets of relationships. Al too
often we can destroy the trust that is critical for the partnership between the
coach, the supervisor and a staff member when one person talks to another
person in the triangle about the person who is not there. Conversations
about a third party who is not in the room are complex in that they can either
be quite helpful or very destructive.
As Dan Oestreich has written, "It wouldn't seem very realistic to suggest
we should never talk about other people unless they are present. And
triangulation can't be al bad. If I need some positive coaching about how to
approach a col eague on a delicate matter, isn't it legitimate that I rehearse a
little with a third person I trust?
"Yes it is, but this is not the triangulation I am speaking of, which has much
more to do with negative discussions of the motives, qualities, and character
9.05
of others than any sort of positive rehearsal. Broadly speaking, it refers to all
those times when a person is inconsistent in his or her statements, saying one
thing to another individual directly, and something else at the water cooler
or over the phone, or otherwise `in private.' The reputation of the person
discussed is often defined by the water cooler discussion."
(http://unfoldingleadership.blogspot.com/2005_11_01_archive.html)
You can see signs of negative triangulation when you:
1. Find yourself totally believing that what you are
hearing about the third
party is true.
2. Spend too much time talking too long about the
third party when he
or she is
not in the room.
3. Take on the role of explaining person B to person C and person C to B.
This is a mistake for several reasons:
a. It is very easy to move into
gossip or moralizing.
b. You do not really know the
thinking and the motivations
of the third party.
c. In the eyes of the person you are talking with you eventually take on
the personage of the person you are attempting to explain.
4. Attempting to be a mediator when both parties do not own you as a
mediator that they respect and trust.
5. Avoid asking the critical question of the one who is talking to you
about a third party. Here are some examples of helpful statements and
critical questions to ask in a conversation that is moving toward negative
triangulation.
a. "As I am listening to you share your concerns and struggles with your
supervisor, I am sensing that the two of you have some issues that
need to be worked out."
b."Let's brainstorm some potential ways for the two of you to work
this out."
c. "Which of these steps seems most workable to you?"
d. "How can I support you in taking this step?"
6. Find yourself making agreements with person B that will effect person
C without
fully informing person C in writing.
9.06
w e h a v e t o t a l k
A Step-By-Step Checklist for Difficult Conversations
by Judy Ringer
Think of a conversation you've been putting off.
Got it? Great. Then let's go.
There are dozens of books on the topic of difficult, crucial, challenging,
important (you get the idea) kinds of conversations. Those times when you
know you should talk to someone, but you don't. Maybe you've tried before
and it went badly. Or maybe you fear that talking wil only make the situation
worse. Stil , there's a feeling of being stuck, and you'd like to free up that stuck
energy for more useful purposes. There are many wel -written and informative
books on how to have these important, crucial, and difficult conversations. At
the end of the article, I list them. Get at least one and read it. They're al great.
What you have here is a brief synopsis of best practice strategies: a checklist
of action items to think about before going into the conversation; some
useful concepts to practice during the conversation; and some tips and
suggestions to help you're energy stay focused and flowing, including
possible conversational openings.
You'l notice one key theme throughout: you have more power than you think.
WorkinG on yourself
How to prepare for the conversation before going into the
conversation, ask yourself some questions:
1. What is your purpose for having the conversation? What do you hope to
accomplish? What would be an ideal outcome?
You may think you have honorable goals, like educating an employee or
increasing connection with your teen, only to notice that your language is
excessively critical or condescending. You think you want to support, but
you end up punishing. Some purposes are more useful than others. Work
on yourself so that you enter the conversation with a supportive purpose.
2. What assumptions are you making about this person's intentions?
You may feel intimidated, belittled, ignored, disrespected, or
marginalized, but be cautious about assuming that that was their
intention. Impact does not necessarily equal intent.
9.07
3. What "buttons" of yours are being pushed? Are you more emotional than
the situation warrants?
Take a look at your "backstory," as they say in the movies. What
personal history is being triggered? You may still have the conversation,
but you'll go into it knowing that some of the heightened emotional
state has to do with you.
4. How is your attitude toward the conversation influencing your perception of it?
If you think this is going to be horribly difficult, it probably will be. If you
truly believe that whatever happens, some good will come of it, that will
likely be the case. Try to adjust your attitude for maximum effectiveness.
5. Who is the opponent? What might they be thinking about this situation?
Are they aware of the problem? If so, how do you think they perceive it?
What are their needs and fears? What solution do you think they
would suggest? Begin to reframe the opponent as partner.
6. What are your needs and fears? Are there any common concerns?
Could there be?
7. How have you contributed to the problem? How have they?
4 steps to A suCCessful outCome
The majority of the work in any conflict conversation is work you do on
yourself. No matter how wel the conversation begins, you'l need to stay in
charge of yourself, your purpose and your emotional energy.
Breathe, center, and continue to notice when you become off-center and
choose to return again.This is where your power lies. By choosing the calm,
centered state, you'l help your opponent/partner to be more centered, too.
Centering is not a step; centering is how you are as you take the steps. (For more on Centering, see the Resource section at the end of the article.)
Step 1: Inquiry
Cultivate an attitude of discovery and curiosity. Pretend you don't know
anything (you real y don't), and try to learn as much as possible about your
opponent/partner and their point of view. Pretend you're entertaining a
visitor from another planet, and find out how things look on that planet, how
certain events affect them, and what the values and priorities are there.
If they real y were from another planet, you'd be watching their body
language and listening for the unspoken energy as wel . Do that here. What
9.08
do they real y want? What are they not saying?
Let them talk until they're finished. Don't interrupt except to acknowledge.
Whatever you hear, don't take it personal y. It's not real y about you. Try to
learn as much as you can in this phase of the conversation. You'l get your
turn, but don't rush it.
Step 2: Acknowledgment
Acknowledgment means to show that you've heard and understood. Try to
understand them so wel you can make their argument for them. Then do it.
Explain back to them what you think they're real y going for. Guess at their
hopes and honor their position. They won't change unless they see that you
see where they stand. Then they might. No guarantees.
Acknowledge whatever you can, including your own defensiveness if it
comes up. It's fine; it just is. You can decide later how to address it.
For example, in an argument with a friend I said: "I notice I'm becoming
defensive, and I think it's because your voice just got louder and sounded
angry. I just want to talk about this topic. I'm not trying to persuade you in
either direction." The acknowledgment helped him (and me) to recenter.
Acknowledgment can be difficult if we associate it with agreement. Keep
them separate. My saying, "this sounds real y important to you," doesn't
mean I'm going to go along with your decision.
Step 3: Advocacy
When you sense that they've expressed al their energy on the topic, it's your
turn. What can you see from your perspective that they've missed? Help
clarify your position without minimizing theirs.
For example: "From what you've told me, I can see how you came to the
conclusion that I'm not a team player. And I think I am. When I introduce
problems with a project, I'm thinking about its long-term success. I don't
mean to be a critic, though perhaps I sound like one. Maybe we can talk
about how to address these issues so that my intention is clear."
Step 4: Problem-Solving
Now you're ready to begin building solutions. Brainstorming is useful, and
continued inquiry. Ask your opponent/partner what they think would work.
Whatever they say, find something that you like and build on it.
If the conversation becomes adversarial, go back to inquiry. Asking for the other's
point of view usual y creates safety, and they'l be more wil ing to engage.
9.09
If you've been successful in centering, adjusting your attitude, and in engaging
with inquiry and useful purpose, building sustainable solutions wil be easy.
Practice, practice, practice! The art of conversation is like any art--with
continued practice you acquire skil and ease.
You, too, can create better working and family relationships, ease
communication problems and improve the quality of your work and home
environment. You're on the way, and here are some additional hints:
tips AnD suGGestions
A successful outcome wil depend on two things: how you are and what you
say. How you are (centered, supportive, curious, problem-solving) wil greatly
influence what you say.
Acknowledge emotional energy--yours and theirs--and direct it towards
a useful purpose.
Know and return to your purpose at difficult moments.
Don't take verbal attacks personal y. Help your opponent/partner come
back to center.
Don't assume they can see things from your point of view.
Practice the conversation with a friend before holding the real one.
Mental y practice the conversation. See various possibilities and visualize
yourself handling them with ease. Envision the outcome you're hoping for.
hoW Do i beGin?
Opening the conversation In my workshops, a common question is How do I
begin the conversation? Here are a few conversation openers I've picked up
over the years--and used many times!
"I have something I'd like to discuss with you that I think wil help us work
together more effectively.
"I'd like to talk about ____________ with you, but first I'd like to get your
point of view."
"I need your help with what just happened. Do you have a few minutes to talk?"
"I need your help with something. Can we talk about it (soon)?" If they say,
"Sure, let me get back to you," fol ow up with them.
"I think we have different perceptions about _____________________. I'd like
to hear your thinking on this."
9.10
"I'd like to talk about ___________________. I think we may have different
ideas on how to _____________________."
"I'd like to see if we might reach a better understanding about ___________.
I real y want to hear your feelings about this and share my perspective as
wel ."
Write a possible opening for your conversation here:
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Good luck! Let me know if this article has been useful by contacting me at
http://www.judyringer.com .
resourCes
The Magic of Conflict, by Thomas F. Crum (http://www.aikiworks.com ).
Difficult Conversations, by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen
Crucial Conversations, by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan,
Al Switzler (http://www.crucialconversations.com )
FAQs about Conflict, by Judy Ringer. This article can be found on the Free
Articles page at http://www.judyringer.com .
© 2005 Judy Ringer, Power & Presence Training
About the Author: Judy Ringer is the author of
Unlikely Teachers: Finding the
Hidden Gifts in Daily Conflict. A black belt in aikido and national y known
presenter, she specializes in unique workshops on conflict, communication,
and creating a positive and purposeful life. She is the founder of Power &
Presence Training and chief instructor of Portsmouth Aikido, Portsmouth, NH,
USA. Other articles on this topic are available at http://www.JudyRinger.com
This article was provided by Mediate.com and is used by permission of the author.
9.11
4 s t a g e l a u n c h p r o c e s s
s t a g e 1 - c o r e g r o u p g a t h e r i n g
Primary Target Audience: Missional Christians
Developmental Issues:
· Planter prays and enlists others in the community to pray for the new chapter
· Develop and passionately articulate the vision, values, and purpose
of the chapter
· Meet ethnical y diverse Christians on campus and engage them with the vision
· Begin influencing Christians through various small-group gatherings
· Develop those students who have potential to become the core with a
high commitment to the vision, passion and values of the chapter plant
· Hold a catalytic event/retreat for the core
10.01
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10.02
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d
i
s
c
e
r
n
t
h
e
vAlues/skills to DisplAy
Can nurtur
challenge" or "cowboy"
mindset of the planter
Ability to judge of
planter'
Ability to listen well
An interaction style with
the planter that mixes
nurturing for r
a str
first stage should unfold
C
A
d
i
f
f
e
r
e
n
c
e
s
a
n
d
s
i
m
b
e
t
w
p
l
a
n
t
i
n
g
e
x
p
e
r
i
e
n
c
e
a
n
d
t
h
e
e
x
p
e
r
i
e
n
c
e
o
f
t
h
i
s
p
l
a
n
t
e
r
·
·
·
·
·
·
h
c
ces
a
e
n
t
g
u
i
d
e
l
i
n
e
s
oblems
o
esour
c
a
n
a
g
e
m
oadmap for coaching
e
m
e
oubleshoot pr
neeDs they Will feel
I am a help to the planter
I
n
t
e
r
V
a
r
s
i
t
y
v
a
l
u
e
s
t
h
e
i
r
r
o
l
e
A r
T
i
m
SOS line to IV national to
tr
Coaching r
P
l
a
n
t
i
n
g
r
e
s
o
u
r
c
e
s
t
o
p
a
s
s
a
l
o
n
g
Feedback on their own
performance
·
·
·
·
·
·
·
·
h
t
-
1
e
f on the right
g
a
t
ChAllenGes they Will fACe
Getting of
foot with the planter and
their supervisor
Establishing a pace of
r
egular interaction
Staying motivated
s
·
·
·
10.03
t quit
ea team
egularly
e performing
e a true team
, supervisor and
DesireD outComes
Planter has accomplished
Stage 1 and is still at it and
liking it--didn'
Planter
coach ar
Coaches ar
Planter is funded
Planter feels well-connected
to their IV Ar
Has prayed r
for the planter
·
·
·
·
·
·
i
t
h
p
e
e
r
s
arsity
ence tools
ebsite
o
n
f
e
r
e
n
c
e
c
a
l
s
w
methoDs, tools, etC. neeDeD
Refer
Lifeline to InterV
W
C
·
·
·
·
oles of both
-stage launch
r
o
otocols
the coach and the planter
s
vAlues/skills to DisplAy
Understands and supports
the four
Knows the r
Allows for messiness
Gives permission to
the planter to bypass
certain IVCF "expected
attendance" events/
pr
Nurturing the "I need a
challenge" or "cowboy"
mindset of the planter
·
·
·
·
·
i
v
r
ocess,
e
p
u
s
-manage)
orking positively to
e
neeDs they Will feel
W
support the planter/coach
team
Managing the time they
give to the planter/coach
(i.e., they could over or
under
Seeing him/herself as a
vital player in the pr
not a distant, busy leader
·
·
·
h
t
-
1
t
e
a
m
ocess,
a
c
h
e
t
e
r
/
c
o
g
l
a
n
-manage)
a
t
o
r
k
i
n
g
p
o
s
i
t
i
v
e
l
y
t
o
s
u
p
p
o
r
t
e
p
ChAllenGes they Will fACe
W
t
h
Managing the time they
give to the planter/coach
(i.e., they could over or
under
Seeing him/herself as a
vital player in the pr
not a distant, busy leader
s
·
·
·
10.04
4 s t a g e l a u n c h p r o c e s s
s t a g e 2 - p r e v i e w g a t h e r i n g s
Primary Target Audience: Christians and Non-Christians of Every Ethnicity
Developmental Issues:
· Develop prayer-life/practices of the core
· Core embraces vision and values by practicing evangelism
· Growth through personal invitations to relational networks and selective
advertising
· Hold once-a-month preview gatherings that model our values
· Identify and invest in leaders
· Hold a catalytic event that celebrates the community and calls for future
involvement and commitment
· Involve new people so they become part of the core
10.05
o
)
ogrammed
s
?
each events
t
h
g
n
s
t
h
e
v
i
s
i
o
n
n
h
r
i
s
t
e in place
e of 20 to 30 has
e
(
o
n
e
o
r
t
w
o
r
e
o
w
eview gatherings
begun to solidify and is
added to
fi
n
d
C
a
s
t
h
e
i
r
s
and strategies have been
identified & pr
become systemized
s
t
r
e
DesireD outComes
Cor
S
o
m
C
Range of culturally
r
elevant outr
Pr
Adequate funds to do the
job ar
·
·
·
·
·
·
d
n
i
f
t
s
a
i
r
g
e
v
e
n
t
a
n
d
e doing
e
e
t
h
o
d
s
f
o
r
a
n
t
h
ning in this stage
m
e members
f
r
o
g
methoDs, tools, etC. neeDeD
Continuous use of tools to
c
a
s
t
v
i
s
i
o
n
t
o
e
n
l
a
r
g
e
t
h
e
c
o
r
e
Develop a leadership
model to build ownership
among the committed
I
d
e
a
s
a
n
d
m
e
f
f
e
c
t
i
v
e
p
r
e
v
i
e
w
o
u
t
r
e
a
c
h
e
v
e
n
t
s
b
e
y
o
n
d
A discipleship plan for
Cor
Connections with what
other planters ar
and lear
·
·
·
·
·
i
n
d
a
l
e
r
e
oach
a
y
e
n and move
oles
t
t
h
a
nment about whom
t
h
God answers prayer
Steadiness
Passion for the plan and
the people
Innovation
Discer
to entrust with major
leadership r
Ability to lear
on when one appr
does not work
s
o
vAlues/skills to DisplAy
·
·
·
·
·
·
r
ly
e
ise
t
w
n
re
a
co
ced
l
e
p
th
esour
-r
gin
e my supervisor and
e
y
neeDs they Will feel
Under
Doubts
How to lift vision
Getting the right people
involved
How to get people to pray
T
eamwork and team
development
Ar
coach still behind me?
·
·
·
·
·
·
·
h
lop
t
e
-
I d
i
t
t
e
d
e
m
m
2
: An
ole
e
e Christians
understanding
e about develop-
g
stio
p
e
o
p
l
e
e
fi
n
d
i
n
g
t
h
e
fi
t
a
u
oles to, and making
t
Q
i
s
i
o
n
-
c
a
s
t
i
n
g
t
o
c
o
m
e
v
e
l
o
p
i
n
g
c
u
l
t
u
r
a
l
y
r
e
l
e
v
a
n
t
e
v
e
l
o
p
i
n
g
a
d
i
s
c
i
p
l
e
s
h
i
p
p
l
a
n
y
ChAllenGes they Will fACe
Keeping cor
convinced that this is a
good thing
V
a
n
d
n
e
w
Developing
in the cor
mental issues of this stage
Developing a sustainable
plan for winning, keeping,
and lifting commitment
D
e
v
e
n
t
s
--
D
Determining which cor
members to delegate
key r
adjustments when a
person is not working out
in their new r
s
e
·
·
·
·
·
·
·
K
10.06
g
esults
r
k
i
n
o
ong
e
r
e
t
h
s spiritual
g
t
e
r
s
a
r
e
w
e
l
l
t
o
DesireD outComes
Planter achieves r
of this stage
Planter'
connection with God and
energy is str
P
l
a
n
w
·
·
·
oup
e gr
ces flowing on
n established
methoDs, tools, etC. neeDeD
Keep helpful ideas and
r
esour
teamwork, cor
development, ideas for
events, etc.
Regular visit &
accountability system/
patter
·
·
vAlues/skills to DisplAy
Encourager/demonstrates
a "can do" spirit
Good listener
Accountability is good
·
·
·
h
c
a
o
oject with
c
e
neeDs they Will feel
The challenge of balancing
encourage-ment/ passion
for the pr
well-timed, thoughtful
intervention
·
h
t
-
2
e
g
a
t
e
l
p
t
h
e
p
l
a
n
t
e
r
s
t
a
y
o
n
t
a
s
k
isdom about when to
ChAllenGes they Will fACe
Be an encourager
H
Pray for the planter
r
egularly
W
intervene and when to
let a situation or strategy
"play itself out"
s
·
·
·
·
10.07
DesireD outComes
Planter is successful
in this stage
·
ence calls
ebsite
methoDs, tools, etC. neeDeD
IVCF senior leadership
has systematized its
engagement model
W
Confer
Face to face meeting
·
·
·
·
ces for
esour
r
o
"How can I serve you?"
coach and planter
s
vAlues/skills to DisplAy
Servant Leadership:
Get needed r
·
·
i
v
r
e
p
u
n what is going
s
e
neeDs they Will feel
The support of IVCF senior
leadership
T
o discer
on with available feedback
·
·
h
t
-
2
ce the
fectiveness
e
esour
g
a
t
ChAllenGes they Will fACe
Balancing when to lead
and when to stay out
of the way
Adequately r
coach and planter with
time and attention
Clarify and articulate
what success is
Establish a passion for
r
esults and ef
s
·
·
·
·
10.08
4 s t a g e l a u n c h p r o c e s s
s t a g e 3 - c h a p t e r l a u n c h
Primary Target Audience: Christians and Non-Christians of Every Ethnicity
Developmental Issues:
· Mission-focused prayer meetings become an integral part of the effort
· Develop a culture of invitation
· First NSO if in semester system
· Weekly large-group meetings
· Excellence in large-group and other ministry-critical areas
· Deploy student-led small groups that also engage in evangelism
· Regular leadership meetings and key training events
· Catalytic event for new core members
10.09
p
u
s
r
l
a
e is
oup
u
ow
g
r
e
e finding Christ
a
g
ong large-gr
es new believers
i
n
e channeled into a
ong chapters
DesireD outComes
People ar
The momentum of the
plant and the cor
continuing to gr
A str
meeting is established
T
h
e
c
h
a
p
t
e
r
i
s
d
e
v
e
l
o
p
i
n
g
a
h
e
a
l
t
h
y
r
e
s
p
e
c
t
o
n
c
a
m
Insur
ar
discipleship system
Begins incorporating the
basic principles of building
str
·
·
·
·
·
·
l
i
s
h
b
s
t
a
e
i
l
e
h
w
ograms, events
i
p
s
h
?
each pr
l
e
d
n
methoDs, tools, etC. neeDeD
T
ool kit for developing
outr
and systems
·
i
s
c
i
p
t
t
e
d
a
d
n
o
r
k
a
r
s
t
o
e
a
y
I
w
i
t
y
t
h
n
u
o
g
m
m
r
i
n
e
c
o
b
omotion done
e for individuals and
e
l
e
g
a
t
i
o
n
i
s
t
h
e
w
r
e
t
o
Dependence on God
Networking to get
pr
D
A healthy mix of visionary
leadership and pastoral
car
the cor
d
vAlues/skills to DisplAy
·
·
·
·
r
co te
g
e
h
n
e
t
l
i
g
e
each
n
stro
a
ad is d
elevant
l
e re
e
f
f
e
c
t
i
v
e
o
n
eady to jump
p
in
d
t
i
o
t
a
c
o
o
ning whether the
e
t
o
i
n
w
m
o
ogramming for outr
oup is r
e
a
r
o
t
t
h
neeDs they Will feel
H
p
Keeping energy up in cor
team
Developing r
pr
strategy
Identifying leadership
Discer
gr
into a weekly meeting.
·
·
·
·
·
h
m a
e
t
t
h
w
g
-
eva tin
3
e
e
: Hn
fective
m
e
p
u
g
stioe ro
a
u -g
each events
t
Q e
omotional strategy
ogram
y
ChAllenGes they Will fACe
Keeping vision alive
Rallying chapter to
outr
Executing an ef
pr
Multi-ethnic sensitivity
Launching a full scale NSO
pr
s
e rg
·
·
·
·
·
K
l
a
10.10
DesireD outComes
Planter feels supported
Planter feels supported
·
DesireD outComes
·
methoDs, tools, etC. neeDeD
T
ools to help the planter
multi-task
Regular contact with the
planter and supervisor
Means to monitor planters
at various stages
Regular contact with the
planter and coach
·
·
methoDs, tools, etC. neeDeD
·
·
r
o
vAlues/skills to DisplAy
Servanthood
Patience
Hope and belief in the
plant and the planter
Openness
Support
Prayer
·
·
·
s
vAlues/skills to DisplAy
·
·
·
i
v
e
h
r
c
e
a
p
o
u
c
s
e
neeDs they Will feel
Graciously using
evaluative criteria
How to handle the
feelings that planters ar
"coloring outside the
IVCF lines"
·
e
neeDs they Will feel
·
h
h
t
t
-
om
-
3
3
e
e
g
g
a
opriately challenging
a
t
ChAllenGes they Will fACe
Appr
t
h
e
p
l
a
n
t
e
r
t
o
b
e
i
n
n
o
v
a
t
i
v
e
Is what I am hearing fr
the planter accurate?
t
ChAllenGes they Will fACe
Juggling priorities
s
·
·
s
·
10.11
4 s t a g e l a u n c h p r o c e s s
s t a g e 4 - m i s s i o n l a u n c h
Primary Target Audience: Christians and Non-Christians of Every Ethnicity
Developmental Issues:
· Teach and practice prayer ministry with leaders and core
· Rally chapter around evangelistic events
· Implement a full-scale promotional strategy
· First NSO if in Quarter System
· Continue to develop excellence in large-group and small-group
gatherings, as well as using large-group evangelism and outreach
· Formalize the leadership selection process
· Global/urban project to advance
10.12
coalesces
two
or
chapter
DesireD outComes
People coming to Christ
A
Christians discipling new
believers
·
·
·
f
s
e
o
e
m
a
s
e
n
r
a
t
e
t
h
ogramming
ocess of
d
t
e
g
a
n
g
i
n
each pr
i
n
t
o
i
l
d
w
u
o
methoDs, tools, etC. neeDeD
Outr
and methods
Ongoing pr
student leadership
development is in place
A clear understanding of
the principles of chapter
b
h
into the life of the chapter
·
·
·
vAlues/skills to DisplAy
Spiritual confidence·
r
e
t
-
n
a
l
p
elevant
e
neeDs they Will feel
T
o be r
T
o not be afraid,
embarrassed or over
confident
·
·
h
t
-
4
elevant
e
elevance
g
a
ollout of an
e leadership
t
oup meetings have
ChAllenGes they Will fACe
Being culturally r
but biblically sound
The r
invitation strategy
Keep praying
Keeping vision up with
cor
Ensuring that weekly large
gr
impact and r
s
·
·
·
·
·
10.13
goals
goals
their
their
achieves
achieves
DesireD outComes
Planter
Planter
·
DesireD outComes
·
e
g
o
)
-
u
p
t
o
o
l
s
a
t
e
r
i
a
l
s
f
r
o
m
i
n
e
d
a
s
w
f
e
r
e
n
c
e
m
I
S
E
T
a
n
d
f
o
l
o
w
methoDs, tools, etC. neeDeD
Re
N
(
T
o
b
e
d
e
t
e
r
m
·
methoDs, tools, etC. neeDeD
r
o
vAlues/skills to DisplAy
Patience
Faith
Patience
Faith
·
·
s
vAlues/skills to DisplAy
·
·
i
v
h
r
c
e
a
p
o
u
c
s
e
neeDs they Will feel
T
ime to support the
planter in this busy phase
How to keep energy
sustained
·
e
neeDs they Will feel
·
h
h
t
t
-
-
4
opriate
ocess
4
e
h
a
n
g
i
n
g
f
r
u
i
t
"
e
g
g
a
a
t
e
l
p
i
n
g
p
l
a
n
t
e
r
t
h
i
n
k
ChAllenGes they Will fACe
Keeping energy sustained
in the planter
Helping planter pr
early wins and losses
H
b
e
y
o
n
d
"
l
o
w
t
ChAllenGes they Will fACe
Getting to enough
meetings to get an
accurate feel for things
Developing an appr
means for feedback
Grace to allow for
experimentation
s
·
·
·
s
·
·
·
10.14
b o o k s a n d w e b s i t e s f o r c o a c h e s
Books:
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Leadership Development. Colorado Springs: NavPress.1988.
Col ins, Gary R.
Christian Coaching: Helping Others Turn Potential into Reality.
Colorado Springs: NavPress. 2001.
Crane, Thomas and Patrick, Lerissa Nancy.
The Heart of Coaching:
Using Transformational Coaching to Create a High Performance Culture.
FTA Press. 2001.
Cresswel , Jane.
Christ-Centered Coaching: 7 Benefits for Ministry Leaders.
Chalice Press. 2006.
Goldsmith, Marshal , Lyons, Lawrence, and Freas, Alyssa (eds.).
Coaching for
Leadership: How the World's Greatest Coaches Help Leaders Learn. San Francisco. Jossey-Bass/Peiffer. 2000.
Hargrove, Robert.
Masterful Coaching: Extraordinary Results by Impacting
People and the Way They Think and Work Together. San Francisco: Pfeiffer. 1995.
Harney, Kevin.
Seismic Shifts. Little Changes That Make a Big Difference in
Your Life. Grand Rapids: Zondervan. 2005.
Jones, Laura Beth.
Jesus, Life Coach. Nelson Business. 2004.
Ledesma, Ruth.
Coaching by the Book: Principles of Christian Coaching.
Xlibris. Corp. 2002.
Maxwel , John C.
Developing the Leaders Around You. Nashvil e: Nelson
Publishers. 1995.
McGinnis, Alan Loy.
Bringing Out the Best in People. Minneapolis: Augsburg
Publishing. 1985.
Nebel, Thomas and Ogne, Stevens.
Empowering Leaders Through Coaching.
Chicago: ChurchSmart Resources. 1996.
Nelson, Alan.
Coached by Jesus: 31 Lifechanging Questions Asked by the
Master. Howard Books. 2005.
Peterson, David B. and Hicks, Mary Dee.
Leaders as Coach: Strategies for
Coaching and Developing Others. Personnel Decisions, Inc. 1996.
11.01
Pue, Carson.
Mentoring Leaders. Grand Rapids: Baker Book House. 2005.
Shula, Don and Blanchard, Kenneth.
Everyone's a Coach. Grand Rapids:
Zondervan. 1995.
Stoltzfus, Tony.
Leadership Coaching : The Disciplines, Skil s, and Heart of a
Coach. BookSurge Publishing. 2005.
Umidi, Joseph.
Transformational Coaching. Xulon Press. 2005.
Whitmore, John.
Coaching for Performance: Growing People, Performance,
and People. Nicholas Brealey Publishing. 2002.
Whitworth, Laura, Kimsey-House, Henry, and Sandahl, Phil.
Co-Active
Coaching: New Skil s Toward Coaching People Toward Success in Work
and Life. Davies-Black Pub. 1998.
Wooden, John.
They Cal Me Coach. Chicago: Contemporary Books, Inc. 1988.
Websites:
Christian Coaches Network
www.christiancoachesnetwork.com
Coaching.com
www.coaching.com
CoachNet
www.coachnet.org
CoachU
www.coachu.com
Coachvil e.com
www.coachvil e.com
Harvard Business School
www.hbs.edu
International Coach Federation www.coachfederation.com
Life@Work Journal
www.lifeatwork.com
11.02
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b u i l d i n g r a p p o r t w i t h y o u r p l a n t e r
Thought starters for things the coach might want to know about the planter.
1. What do I know about my planter?
2. What do I not know about my planter but would like to know?
3. What does my planter need to know about me?
4. What are my planter's favorite learning styles?
5. How would my planter describe his/her leadership style?
6. On a scale of 1 to 10, to what extent does my planter feel the need for
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coaching? What is their reasoning for this number . . .
or where does he/she feel the greatest need?
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7. What does the planter want most from me as coach or from this process?
8. What does our ideal time together look like for my planter?
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Some of the above material was adapted from Learning Strategies for Newly
Appointed Leader
s by Julie Johnson.
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f i r s t c o a c h i n g s e s s i o n
Use this handout to help guide the session when you wil meet with your
planter at the close of NISET. You may also wish to revisit the draft coaching
agenda you created in an earlier session to fine-tune the flow of questioning
for this first session.
1.Process NISET with your planter get their feedback
Below are sample questions to help you get on the same page in light of the
NISET training. The line of questions wil vary depending on how much time
the coaches and planters have spent together already.
· How has the week been for you?
· What has been most helpful? What will be your big "Aha!" take away?
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· What excites you as you look forward to this assignment?
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· What looks really challenging and even daunting?
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2. Let's talk about expectations as we work together
· What are you looking for from me as your coach?
· How can I serve you best?
· Is there anything I need to know about your working style, punctuality,
best ways to connect, when to call and not to call, etc.?
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· What would I do that would tick you off?
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3. Review Stage One in chapter launch
· What are your early thoughts on establishing a foundation on your cam-
pus to build upon?
· Tell me about the vision that is beginning to take shape for your
campus. Have you ever been there? What do you know about this
campus? The soil? The receptive groups? Other ministries at work?
· Are there any goals that are shaping up in your thinking?
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· What would success look like to you in this first stage?
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· Have you started to build an action plan? If so, let's review it or talk
about it.
(Note: Choose only 1 or 2 high impact areas on which to focus, with
the planter choosing the area.)
· What are your major concerns at this point?
(Listen and then practice
feedback skills to make sure you understand them and, if necessary, offer some
troubleshooting strategies)
· How can I help you in the next 30 days?
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· When can I expect some kind of a written update from you?
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4. Calendar, visit planning and next steps
· Use the blank calendar
(see the sheet "Coaching Calendar and Activities
-- July - September 2007") to plan out your connections for the next three
months: first set of meetings on campus, off campus, emails, phone call
schedule, etc.
(Coaches should revisit their work done earlier this week when
they brainstormed a hypothetical calendar. Then work with the planter to create
a new Coaching Calendar.)
· Before you leave, be sure you both know the next time you will be in
contact with each other and who will initiate the contact.
5. Closing prayer time
· What are the top three issues we need to pray about regarding:
· each other
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· the planting process
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· the students headed to our campus
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f i r s t c o a c h i n g v i s i t a g e n d a
1.
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C o A C h
p l A n t e r
c o a c h i n g l o g
Record your phone and significant email interactions with your planter as
they happen. Send your updates log to Jim Lundgren at the end of each
month starting September 30.
D A t e C o A C h i n G A C t i v i t y
k e y f o C u s o f A C t i v i t y
( v i s i t , p h o n e c a l l , e m a i l ,
r e s o u r c e p r o v i d e d , e t c . )
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C o A C h
p l A n t e r
v i s i t r e p o r t
Use this form to report to Jim Lundgren on-site visits.
Send to Jim with/in one week of your visit.
G e n e r A l
D A t e :
i n f o r m A t i o n
o n - s i t e :
l o C A t i o n :
W h o m e t :
p l A n t s t A G e
A n D s t e p
m A i n p u r p o s e
of visit
G e n e r A l s e n s e
of how planter is doing
(highs and lows)
m A j o r
b r e A k t h r o u G h s
to celebrate
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C r i t i C A l i s s u e s
to address
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n e x t s t e p s
the planter is
commited to
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m y " t o D o " l i s t
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Connecting your behaviors to your purpose
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Maintaining physical
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