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Conseling Community.PDF
THE "COUNSELING COMMUNITY"
INTRODUCTION TO PASTORAL COUNSELING
PROF. RAYMOND PENDLETON
FEB. 24, 1998
Curtis Chang
50 Sawyer Ave. - Tufts University
Medford, MA 02155
617-625-2257
cchang@emerald.tufts.edu
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Introduction
If a person who had no prior knowledge of the phenomenon of "pastoral counseling" were to
survey the literature on the subject, he would leave with a definite picture of the standard model. He
would envision someone sitting in his office with a nameplate "Pastor " resting on the desk. The
"pastor" would check his appointment book and welcome an individual into his office. The two would
speak for a certain period, perhaps pray together at the end, and then the individual would depart. The
pastor might take a few notes, then check his appointment book, and then welcome the next individual.
And so on and so on.1
While this picture may accurately depict "pastoral counseling" in most churches, it has seemed
foreign to both my philosophy and experience of ministry. For the last six years, I have served as a
campus minister in Boston with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, the last four with a student fellowship
at Tufts University. When I think of "pastoral counseling," a plethora of images spring to mind. I see
myself in a car with Sung and Eric on a road trip.2 From the back seat, Sung begins to recount how his
father has just threatened to pull him out of Tufts because of Sung's lower than expected grades. From
the front seats, Eric and I talk with him for over an hour, covering 90 miles and a complex history of
family dynamics. Later, when Eric and I are alone, we talk about why I asked Sung a particular question.
Or I envision a group of students sitting in a circle in a Florida hotel room. They are on the last
night of a Spring Break missions project and each is sharing about how they are feeling. When
Elizabeth's turn comes up, she instead talks about her eating disorders and experience of parental abuse.
None of the students has heard this from Elizabeth before. As she finishes sharing, they look at each
other in silence, wondering what to do or say next.
Or I envision Tina having a late night conversation with her hall mate Katie, who is not a
Christian. Tina is a member of an relational outreach team in the fellowship and has been developing a
friendship with Katie. Katie awkwardly stammers to Tina about how much she appreciates their
developing friendship and "that I can really trust you." She then finally discloses to Tina that she is a
lesbian. When Katie leaves, Tina's roommate returns. Tina's roommate is also on the outreach team and
also is friends with Katie. Tina wonders whether she should speak with her roommate about what just
happened.
There are many explanations for why my pictures of "pastoral counseling" so differ from that of
the textbooks. Certainly some of these reasons stem from the different realities of a campus ministry
context. However, I also believe I am depicting a fundamentally different model of pastoral counseling.
In this paper, I seek to elaborate on what I call the "counseling community" model. The paper takes the
form of two main parts: 1) a brief description of the model, including the theological and contextual
reasons behind this model; 2) a case study of an individual's experience in my own "counseling
community."
1 For example, see William R. Miller and Kathleen A Jackson, Practical Psychology for Pastors, Englewood Cliffs, Prentice Hall, 1995
where the office setting is the assumed setting for counseling for most of its discussion. Similarly, the transcripts included in William
Oglesby, Biblical Themes for Pastoral Care; Nashville, Abingdon Press, 1980, all record encounters which fit this standard model.
2 All of the names in this paper have been changed.
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The Counseling Community Model
The "counseling community" model can be understood by comparing it to the standard model in
some key features. The following table summarizes this comparison. Each of these comparisons are
explained in more detail below.
Standard Model
"Counseling Community" Model
Who
The individual pastor as "a hub to spokes"
A flexible web of relationships
Key Determinant
Church role, qualifications, etc.
Relational history and trust
Where and When
The office or other church "turf"
Community "turf" (could be wherever)
Scheduled appointments
Community time (could be whenever)
Expectations
Confidentiality;
Shared appropriately within the community
One way direction of ministry
Mutual exchange over the course of the
relationships
Length
Set duration of each session
Open ended unless specified under some
Limited number of appointments
community structure
Role of the
Provider of counseling service
Model, trainer, key interventionist, counselor
of counselors
pastor/leader
Training
Seminary or other graduate program
Mentoring combined with training within the
community's leadership structures
Referrals
A sequential connection
A complementary connection
In the standard model, the pastor stands as the hub connecting to all the counselees in the
community. The pastor is the primary counselor. In the "counseling community," people receive
counseling based on their location in the web of relationships within the community.3 The community
primarily counsels each other. The key determinant of who counsels is not any title nor professional
qualification, but rather relational history and trust. Thus, an individual who needs counseling but is on
the fringe of the community's web will probably not go to the "pastor/leader." Instead, he will go to the
one other person to whom he is most connected. As he is drawn into the community, he will probably
be increasingly counseled by several different people.4
This may take place in a series of one on one meetings or quite possibly in a group setting.
Indeed, groups -- both ones formally set up and informal gatherings -- can often be the settings for how a
"counseling community" works to serve individuals. Whether in a group or in one on one settings,
however, the key is that counseling takes place within the rhythms of community life. Community trips,
retreats, meetings and homes are much more likely to serve as the counseling locale, as opposed to a
specific appointment at a designated office. There exists an unavoidable and even desired level of
unpredictability of where and when counseling may break out.5
The expectations also differ in a "counseling community." Since people are counseled by a web
of relationships, confidentiality is not routinely assumed nor promised. Whereas the standard model
breaks confidentiality mainly on questions such as "Is the individual an immediate threat to self or
others," the "counseling community" model asks, "Are there others who are counseling the individual?"
3 It should be noted that when I speak of "community" in this paper, I am referring to
a specific group of believers in a local version of the
Body of Christ. I do not mean "community" in geographical or residential terms, nor as any collection of individuals, regardless of
Christian faith.
4 For this concept of a "web of relationships," I am indebted to my own mentor in ministry, Rich Lamb.
5 Robert Coleman has emphasized that Jesus' "counseling" was thoroughly embedded in the settings of his community in his classic book,
The Master Plan of Evangelism, Grand Rapids, Revell, 1993, pp. 38-49
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and "Would the individual be served if others knew?" The model also expects that counseling
relationships will over time move in the direction of mutuality. While there may be imbalances at any
given point in the counseling (especially in the beginning), the model aims for friendship, as opposed to a
professional relationship. Indeed, some have stressed the redemptive power of this sort of friendship,
noting that the Greek word for the type of counseling friendship is
therapon (from which "therapy" is
derived) and that Jesus mediates healing "as the therapon of God."6
Since the movement is towards friendship, the length of the counseling is rather open ended for
both any given "session" and the overall course of the counseling. However, individuals often decide to
enter group structures in the community that have more definite boundaries and expectations.7
The role of the pastor/leader in a "counseling community" is multifaceted. She will certainly
counsel in group settings and/or one on one settings. But her ultimate goal is to model counseling such
that those who receive her counsel replicate the ministry. Thus she also plays the role of trainer. In
especially challenging situations, the pastor/leader might also be called upon to make a key interventions
to help community members counsel each other. Finally, she will continue to counsel her most gifted
and active counselors in her community.
The counselors in the community thus receive "on the job" training. The emphasis is on
mentoring over some professional program. The mentoring will be supplemented by more formal
training in the community's leadership structures. A key responsibility of the pastor/leader is to make
sure that material, wisdom, and influences from outside the community find their way to the counselors.
Regarding outside referrals, the standard model tends toward a sequential connection: pastor
counsels an individual for a few sessions and then refers him to another professional as necessary. In
contrast, there is a complementary relationship in a "counseling community": deep issues are first raised
for an individual in his "counseling community" relationships; the community might encourage the
individual to pursue professional counseling, and then continues to pray for and counsel the individual
precisely over the issues that get discussed with his professional counselor.
Reasons For The Counseling Community Model
I believe there are fundamental differences between these two models that extend beyond simply
the appropriateness of certain models for certain contexts. The standard model of counseling stems from
an ecclesiology that emphasizes individualism and a conception of ministry that stresses professionalism.
Space does not allow for an extensive critique of this model on those fundamental levels; suffice it to say
that I believe the "counseling community" model more faithfully represents the Biblical vision of the
ecclesia and ministry. Scripture consistently depicts the community as the main agent of God's healing and
the pastor as the enabler of the community's ministry.8 Even members of the professional Christian
counseling profession are seeing the need for a change. As Larry Crabb has noted, "The development of
the local church into a counseling community employing its unique resources of fellowship and ministry is
an exciting concept which needs further thinking."9
6 Samuel Southard, Theology and Therapy: The wisdom of God in a context of friendship, Dallas, Word, 1989, p. x
7 Church history is filled with examples of such "counseling community" structures. They range from the classic monastic orders to
Wesley's covenant groups. See William Clebsch and Charles Jackle, Pastoral Care in Historical Perspective; New York, Jason Aaronson,
1983, pp. 282-84
8 See for example, Eph. 4: 11-13. For a more thoroughgoing critique, see Howard A. Snyder, The Community of the King, Downers
Grove, IVP, 1978
9 Larry Crabb, Effective Biblical Counseling; Grand Rapids, Zondervan, 1977, p. 17. Unfortunately, his book does not go on to provide
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But even setting aside arguments at the fundamental level, I believe the "counseling community"
model is more compelling because it is better suited to the largest contextual shift facing the church today,
namely the shift from modernity to post-modernity. The standard model is a classic child of modernity in
its view of authority and the self. The pastor stands at the hub of all counseling by virtue of his authority,
an authority invested in his formal role or credentials. It is no surprise that the modern epoch saw the
rise of professional credentialing for pastors and specialized degrees in counseling. This authoritative hub
connects to reasonably well formed "selves" who suffer from well specified and diagnosed problems: a
family crisis arises, there is a death and grief process, a decision needs to be made, etc. (the discreteness of
such problems is also why the pastor can afford to be connected to a large number of people). He
counsels for either a short duration in order to solve a specific problem or on periodic occasions because
people will remain relatively stable and well functioning in the interim. To put it another way, the modern
counselee wants to know, "Are you an expert authority?" and "How do I solve this specific problem?"
Postmoderns ask fundamentally different questions. Postmoderns are highly suspicious of claims
to expertise and authority, especially when such claims are made by virtue of some formal role.
Postmoderns want to know, "Why should I trust you?" and the answer, "Because I am the pastor" is not
compelling.10 Instead, authority to counsel a postmodern must be painstakingly earned in relationship
over time. This means that a pastor who waits for people to call him up for counseling appointments or
show up at his "office hours" will wait for a long time. Furthermore, if he seeks to establish trust with
individuals which can lead to a counseling relationship, he will necessarily be limited by the time and
energy required.
Postmoderns also generally enter counseling as weakly formed selves. Observers of
psychotherapy have noted a sea change in the "presenting symptoms" over the past several decades.
Rather than presenting problems that can be categorized into specific "phobias and fixations," the "main
complaints centre around `ego loss', or a sense of emptiness, flatness, futility, lack of purpose, or loss of
self-esteem."11 Other observers have affixed postmodern man with labels such as "The Decentered Self"
or "The Depleted Self" and offered varying explanations for why this weakly formed self is so common.12
Regardless of which explanation one accepts, one often encounters the postmodern as an individual who
cannot even name his "problem" very precisely. Rather than asking "How do I solve this specific
problem," he is plagued by the question, "Who am I?" -- a condition that defies the limited and
occasional intervention of the standard model of pastoral counseling.
In contrast, pastoral counseling that is based on the community of faith offers hope for the
postmodern condition. The web of relationships offers more points where trust can be built for
counseling friendships to develop. Also, the burden to continue the counseling process is spread out over
multiple friendships. Most importantly, the community is an inescapable feature of identity formation.
Charles Taylor has argued persuasively that a self depends on what he calls, interestingly enough, "a web
of interlocutors:"
One is a self only among other selves. A self can never be described without
reference to those who surround it... My self-definition is understood as an
answer to the question Who I am. And this question finds its original sense in
this "further thinking."
10 See Jimmy Long, Generating Hope: A strategy for reaching the postmodern generation, Downers Grove, IVP, 1997, pp. 147-57
11 Charles Taylor, Sources of the Self; Cambridge, Harvard Univ. Press, 1989, p. 19
12 J. Middleton and B. Walsh, Truth is Stranger Than It Used To Be, Downers Grove, IVP, 1995, pp. 46-62 and Donald Capps, The
Depleted Self; Minneapolis, Fortress Press, 1993
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the interchange of speakers... in the space of moral spiritual orientation within
which my most important defining relations are lived out.13
Leanne Payne has written perceptively about how the core of the Christian counseling ministry is the
process of helping people with false and poorly formed selves encounter the Real Presence of Christ, for
"we do not know who we are until we find our own truest selves in God."14 The primary context for this
transforming encounter is relationships within the Body of Christ. Indeed, God's goal in His healing of
any individual is that she may take her "place among those who are sanctified by faith in me;" that "place"
frequently involves counseling others in the community who share her condition.15 One receives one's
true identity from God only as one is incorporated into Christ's counseling community and joins in its
healing work.
A case study of the "counseling community"
To better illustrate how a "counseling community" originates and operates, I have included below
a short case study of Jean, a student in our campus fellowship at Tufts University .16 I make no claim that
her story represents the standard experience -- she is in so many ways an extraordinary individual -- yet I
believe her story is nevertheless instructive about how God works via a "counseling community."
Jean describes her condition as a sophomore in college with the classic symptoms of a weakly
formed self in distress. "I was feeling dead, absolutely nothing. But I didn't know what was wrong with
me or why I felt this way." In the past, Jean's parents had sent her to a professional counselor, but she
had felt unable to share openly in that setting.
Jean visited an InterVarsity meeting, although she did not know anyone very well at the time.
During the meeting, she began crying rather uncontrollably and inexplicably. She remembers what
happened next: "A woman in the fellowship, Arlene, came over to me and just began to hug me. I didn't
even know her but she kept just saying, `Just keep crying. I won't let you go through this alone.'" After
the meeting, Arlene took Jean back to her dorm room and began to talk. "She asked me all these
questions about my past and family, stuff that I wasn't even thinking about at the time. I never thought
that my current state was connected to that stuff." The two continued to meet together once a week for
about two hours. Arlene encouraged Jean to read a book called Drama of a Gifted Child. "Reading that
book," Jean recalls, "was one of the first times I realized that there were all these bottled emotions in me
and my first time sensing that there might be a reason why I was the way I was."
Unfortunately, Arlene (who was an exchange student) left to return to her native country at the
end of that year. While Jean had developed more friendships in the fellowship, there was very little sense
that it was a "counseling community." According to Jean, "We didn't really know how to go into each
other's lives with any depth. When I look back at what we were like, I realize how unreal we were with
each other. We all had our own problems and we didn't know how to deal with them, much less with
each other."
At about this time, my wife and I arrived to serve as campus ministers for the fellowship. We
began to develop a friendship with Jean, seeing her about once a week. Most of the time, she would just
13 Taylor, p. 35
14 Leanne Payne, The Real Presence; Eastbourne, Monarch, 1988, p. 10
15 Acts 26:18. Leanne Payne quotes C.S. Lewis that "Every disability conceals a vocation" in her discussion of this process. Leanne Payne,
The Broken Image; Grand Rapids, Baker, 1986, p. 115.
16 As mentioned, the name has been changed. The interview was conducted on Feb. 25 and 27 1998.
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come over at unscheduled times. Some of the "sessions" occurred at retreats, fellowship meetings, short
term mission trips, or other random community times. Some of them involved talking with both my
wife and me, others just with one of us. Jean recounts the nature of those times: "I was in such a state of
constant crisis that I would just to need to talk to someone. I felt terrible with all these confusing
emotions and thoughts in me that I had to get out of myself. I needed to be with someone who saw
something good in me that could be found, that believed I was more than just this terrible person."
In that context, God was beginning to raise the deeply rooted issues behind Jean's weakly formed
self. "It was in those times I first learned to make some basic connections. For instance, I used to always
want to just scream at my mother whenever she called me on the phone. I finally began to examine the
reasons why. It seems like an obvious step now, but I needed help to see things. I also learned some
basic tools for dealing with the stuff I found inside me. I learned to feel anger, to forgive (that was big!),
to confess and repent. I learned to believe that God does really cleanse me totally -- in some ways, I'm
just starting to learn that recently. I needed to be shown how to do all that." Jean believes there was no
substitute for friendship as the main context for this process. "I could say deep and dark things," she
stresses, "and people wouldn't run away from being my friends; that was very healing itself."
During our first year of ministry with Jean, my wife Jody gathered Jean and three other women
into a women's group. This group was the seeds of our "counseling community." At the time, all the
women knew each other, but did not have very significant friendships, much less counseling relationships.
Jean remembers how she learned to counsel in that setting: "Jody called us to commit to each other and
the group. None of us had ever been in a group like that before. We didn't know how to counsel each
other. It was a new idea even just to take time as a group to listen to one person talk for any length of a
time. It was a new idea to ask questions and not just immediately give advice. We learned mainly by
watching Jody. She led the times probably 75% of the time. Sometimes she would bring up group
dynamics, like whether one of us was mad at the others or something like that."
In this "on the job" training, the women slowly developed their own gifts at counseling. The
following year, Jean and the three others began a household community. As part of the household
structure, they met regularly each week to essentially counsel one another. It was a rocky process at first;
several times Jody and I had to intervene to help the group deal with a problem. But Jean recounts the
growth of their relationships with evident satisfaction: "We learned how to respond to each other's crisis,
to have insight. And it became normal even outside of those meetings to just walk into each other's
rooms or while we were on a road trip to begin talking about an issue in our lives and have the other
person counsel."
During our first year of counseling Jean, we also encouraged her to see a professional counselor.
Jean finally decided to do so, and she connects that decision to her relationships in the "counseling
community." "I might have wanted to see my [professional] counselor otherwise, but I don't think I
would have had the self motivation unless I told people I was going to." Jean views her sessions of more
formal counseling as a complementary part to the healing process already begun in her community: "The
sessions [with her professional counselor] were more of the same stuff I talked about while meeting with
you, but it just gave me a more regular space. It was helpful that it wasn't a friend's time. There was a lot
inside me and it was just OK to spew there because the person I was doing it with didn't have to respond
the way a friend would have to. I could verbalize things there without the other person feeling any
pressure to respond and that was freeing. However, I feel strongly that it wouldn't have helped if I was
just seeing my [professional] counselor. The professional counselor gave me more space and time to `do
work,' but I had to learn how to `do the work' in the community. It was in the community that I got the
framework." Jean recounts several times that "I would have a big realization or a powerful prayer time
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happen for me in the fellowship time, and then I would go and fill out the details of it with my
counselor." Or conversely, "I once finally admitted a very shameful incident from my past in a formal
session with my counselor, but it was not enough that it only came up in a professional relationship like
that. I needed a place for it to go so that it wasn't just flitting around." As such, confessing that incident
to several members of her "counseling community" turned out to be a major step in her healing.
In subsequent years, Jean has occupied a crucial place in the web of relationships that comprise
our "counseling community." She has started and led her own women's group with younger students.
She explains: "I still have a lot of issues to work out myself, but I'm not so crippled and I know I have
places to go to deal with them. But a major work of being a self had occurred. So I had the ability and
desire to focus on other people. I wanted to pass on the concept of purposefully listening, praying, and
growing." She has counseled several women, usually in the same informal web of friendships. She
especially fells strongly about one woman who reminded her a lot of herself at that first meeting with
Arlene: "She needed someone who would stick it out with her the way Alrene did with me. I felt a call
and love for her. I've seen what God has done to heal and I believe it can happen for others. But
someone has to help make it possible for others."
Conclusion
As the case study indicates, the "counseling community" model will entail pastor/leaders
developing a wider set of skills. They will need to learn to gather and train as they seek to replicate
counseling relationships within the community. They will live on the community's "turf" and time,
tending over the web of relationships that will care for their congregations. In the process, they will fulfill
the call "to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we
all reach unity in the faith and knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole
measure of the fullness of Christ."17
17 Eph. 4: 12-13
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Capps, Donald: The Depleted Self; Minneapolis, Fortress Press, 1993
Clebsch, William and Jackle, Charles: Pastoral Care in Historical Perspective; New York, Jason
Aaronson, 1983
Coleman, Robert, The Master Plan of Evangelism, Grand Rapids, Revell, 1993
Crabb, Larry: Basic Principles of Biblical Counseling; Grand Rapids, Zondervan, 1975
Long, Jimmy Generating Hope: A strategy for reaching the postmodern generation, Downers
Grove, IVP, 1997
Middleton, James and Walsh, Brian: Truth is Stranger Than It Used To Be, Downers Grove, IVP,
1995
Miller, Willaim R. and Jackson, Kathleen A: Practical Psychology for Pastors, Englewood Cliffs,
Prentice Hall, 1995
Oglesby, William: Biblical Themes for Pastoral Care; Nashville, Abingdon Press, 1980
Payne, Leanne: The Real Presence; Eastbourne, Monarch, 1988
The Broken Image; Grand Rapids, Baker, 1986
Snyder, Howard A., The Community of the King, Downers Grove, IVP, 1978
Southard, Samuel: Theology and Therapy; Dallas, Word, 1989
Taylor, Charles: Sources of the Self; Cambridge, Harvard Univ. Press, 1989
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