How can I make friends?
As a student, you will become acquainted with other students who live in your dormitory or attend the same classes. Clubs, religious groups, or international student organizations are also good ways to meet people. If you see an American on campus who looks friendly, don’t be afraid to start a conversation. Don’t be discouraged by one bad experience with an American; some Americans will be more open to friendships with internationals than others. Be careful, however, about approaching a member of the opposite sex; he or she may misunderstand your intentions.

What should I do when I am introduced to someone?
“It’s nice to meet you” is a common greeting in the United States . Men generally shake hands upon meeting; women rarely do. When a man meets a woman, he usually waits for her to reach out her hand first if she desires to shake hands.

How do Americans greet each other?
Often when Americans meet on the street, they will wave or say “Hi.” Other times they may ask, “How are you?,” but this is not usually a serious request for information. You can generally give a short answer such as “great,” “good,” “okay,” or “fine” unless the person is a close friend and really wants to know how you are feeling.

How do I make conversation?
With some people, you will have no problem making conversation; they will enjoy asking you many ques-tions about life in your country. Others will seem shy or awkward around you as an international. If you are having difficulty making conversation, ask the other person questions about his or her studies or family, or about American life in general. The person with whom you are talking will probably be happy to explain something you don’t understand about classes or American social customs or traditions.

It is usually not proper to ask an adult his or her age, how much money he or she earns, how much he or she paid for an item, or to ask a newly married woman if she is pregnant yet.

What if I would rather not participate in a certain occasion or activity?
If your friends ask you to do something which you would rather not do or something that makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t feel that you have to join them. Simply say, “No, thank you.”

What else should I keep in mind as I make friends with Americans?
Americans value honesty, and they often say exactly what they think, even if it seems rude. Don’t be afraid of insulting your friends by telling them what you think or feel about something. For example, most Americans would prefer that you say, “I’m sorry, but I can’t come visit you tonight because I have to study,” rather than say that you will come and then not visit.

Also, Americans will often have many acquaintances (people they have met and know by name) but few close friends. While an American may seem friendly when you first meet, he or she may not be interested in a deeper relationship. Try to be sensitive to others’ expectations, and don’t be discouraged if your friendships don’t seem to develop as you would like. In most cases, you will find at least one American interested in a deeper friendship.

If you would like to have a friendship with an American, you can contact one of the organizations that specializes in international students. A number of organizations have friendship partners that help and serve international students studying here in the United States .

Through friendship partners, international students, spouses, and families are matched with American families or American students. American friendship partners invite their international friends and families to meals or special events. Their home may become “a home away from home” for an international student. A friendship partner would be glad to answer your questions about the United States, help you find a place to live, show you around the community, and even help you with conversational English.

Also, if you are interested, these groups have weekly Bible studies and small group activities to help you learn about God’s love for you. With the help of local churches and volunteers, we can help you learn about the Bible and how you can know Jesus Christ.

Hospitality At Someone's Home   A friend invites me over for dinner at 6 p.m. What time am I expected to arrive? Americans are much more time-conscious (aware of time) than people from most other cultures. If someone invites you for 6 p.m. , he or she expects you to be there at that time or a few minutes early. This is true for any appointment or meeting, whether it is a business meeting or social event. One exception is a casual party or “open house,” in which case guests may arrive at any time after the event starts. If you must be late, call the individual to let him or her know what time you expect to arrive. What does “potluck” mean? Americans will often have informal dinners that they call “potluck,” meaning that everyone brings food to share. Sometimes the host will ask you to bring a certain part of the potluck, such as a salad or dessert. You may be invited to a potluck picnic (a meal outside, often at a park) or a barbecue (like a picnic, except that the main meal of meat is cooked on an outside oven called a grill), where you may be expected to bring your own meat to grill (such as hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken, and so forth). If you are invited to someone’s house for dinner, you may want to ask—but it is not necessary—if there is anything you can bring for the meal, such as a salad or dessert. Can I bring my children along? Before you bring your children to another person’s house, ask if they are included in the invitation. If not, you may want to leave your children with friends or hire a baby sitter. Ask an American friend to recommend a baby sitter for you. Americans often do activities which do not include their children. Should I bring a gift? A gift is not expected unless the occasion is a birthday or a similar kind of event. You may want to send a “thank you” note after you have attended a dinner or stayed overnight at someone’s home. If you want to give a gift as part of the “thank you,” you might give the person who invited you a small souvenir from your country. Should I offer to help prepare dinner or wash dishes afterward? Yes, you should politely offer to help. Often your host will enjoy talking with you while you work together in the kitchen. This is an easy and informal way for you and your friend to get to know each other better. Many hosts, however, will simply say, “No, thank you,” after you offer help, and you will not be expected to help. Expectations differ significantly between families. Should I wait to be seated? Waiting for your host to tell you where to sit is considered polite. If your host has children, they may be very excited about having you sit next to them. Also, many families may pray before eating. Will my friend serve the food? Often the food will be passed around the table and you will be expected to “help yourself” (serve the food to yourself). Americans may take larger portions of food than you are used to in your country. If you are unsure whether you will like a certain food, it is proper to try a small portion first; your host will understand. Feel free to ask for more if you would like. Should I return the favor? Your friend generally does not expect anything from you in return. However, your friend may appreciate an invitation to visit your apartment or house to sample food from your country. If you live in a dormitory, you might offer to cook food at his or her house, or you could invite him or her to join you for a concert or other special event on campus.