Building the Bond of Trust

Biblical illustrations describing the relationship between leaders and followers are often quite intimate. For example, shepherds name their sheep, speak to them quietly each day, and pat them on the head to settle them down each evening.

Admittedly, Christian leaders patting their group members on the head might be taking things a bit too far. But leaders do need to understand the nature of the trust that exists between themselves and their followers. They must also know how to strengthen that trust.

The bond of trust includes group recognition that the leader has been given authority to lead. It also includes an understanding of group goals and how the group wants the leader to help them move toward those goals. Grief will occur if leaders or followers do not understand this trust relationship.

For example, one IVCF chapter in California sponsored a week of evangelism on their campus. The leaders brought speakers, evangelistic multi-media, and Christian musical groups to proclaim the Gospel to their school. The whole group shared the goal of evangelistic proclamation, but many of the followers did not accept the means to accomplish the goal. They did not want to give the time needed to support the effort or risk themselves by bringing their non-Christian friends to the events.

Because the chapter leaders did not deal early on with the different reactions to the means for or the costs of sharing the Gospel, group participation was very disappointing. The impact of the week was hampered.

To build the bond of trust, a leader should never ask for a sacrifice greater than he himself is prepared to pay. Jesus called His disciples to give their lives for Him, but as their Good Shepherd He first laid down His life for them.

Napoleon's army was noted for its bravery in battle and loyalty to its commanding officer. That trust between commanding officer and troops was established when Napoleon was a young general. Rather than remaining in the safety of the rear, he had ridden his horse to the front lines and fought shoulder to shoulder with his men against the enemy. From that point, on his men would have done just about anything for their leader.

As the leaders of an InterVarsity chapter, don't ask your followers to risk themselves evangelistically unless you are modeling the same. Don't ask people to give financially to the chapter ministry or the local IVCF staff unless you are doing likewise. Don't ask for the sacrifice of time to participate in chapter affairs unless you are making the same sacrifice.

A leader must see his or her followers as people of value and worth, not simply as a means to an end. A leader must make time to help meet the follower's relational and emotional needs.

For example, one small group leader sends a card and small gift to each member of her small group on their birthdays. Another chapter president calls the Exec members each week to find out how their classes are progressing and to pray over the phone for personal needs. Another student leader invites members of his group to have lunch with him, at his expense, once per semester.

The larger a group becomes, the harder it is for one individual, or even a small group of people, to minister to the relational needs of the whole group. Nevertheless, leaders can mobilize, encourage, and provide opportunities for the whole group to meet one another's needs.

Leaders need to show that they are approachable, teachable, vulnerable, and needy. That doesn't mean a leader should go to extremes to air all of his dirty laundry, but it does mean that he or she should be open with followers.

Let your followers know you need them. You need them as friends, not just to get business done. Leaders are not necessarily the smartest or wisest persons in the world, and they need the ideas, advice, and wisdom of their followers.

Also, identify with the emotional needs of your followers. For instance, if sharing your faith with your non-Christian friends is scary for you, share that feeling with your group. Chances are that many of them will have similar feelings.

In Mark 14:32-42, Jesus invited Peter, James, and John to watch and pray with Him during His hour of greatest need. He let them know that He desperately desired their companionship. When Paul wrote to Timothy, he asked him to come soon because he was very lonely. In both cases, Jesus' and Paul's sharing of their inner selves affirmed the value of their followers and strengthened their bond with the leaders.

Lastly, remember that while sin breaks the bond, forgiveness can restore it. Leaders need to be honorable men and women who keep their word. It is very painful both for the followers and the leader if either side fails to do so. But if a promise is broken, the responsible party needs to say, "I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?"

I have observed leaders over the years who have tried to either pass the buck or deny their failure. The long-term result has always been a weakening of the bond. Confess your sin and humbly go on with your responsibilities.